Postcards From the Edge Read Online Free PDF Page B

was heroin in it. Not this stuff? Okay, good, ‘cause that’s the one thing 1 don’t wanna do. Well, one time I snorted some, but I would never do any needles. I really think that makes you a drug addict, and me, I’m like a neck-up person:’
    I feel a little nauseous all of a sudden. It’s probably the juice. “Hey, this is a nice place. I’ve never really noticed that you have a nice apartment. It’s like, kind. I don’t know if that’s an appropriate way to describe decor, but it seems so … friendly. Particularly for a dealer’s house. What is this music? This is fantastic music. Really? I usually hate Led Zeppelin. It’s so interesting, so interesting. Do you mind if I lie down near the speakers? Do you have a pillow or anything?”
    God! I feel like I’m making such a fool of myself. I don’t even know these guys and I love them. I guess it’s gotta be the drug, but it doesn’t seem like the drug. Maybe this is the Percodan. I know it’s not good to mix so much, but this feels like such a good blend. Maybe this is exactly right. Maybe from now on I should only do a little cocaine, a couple of Percodan maybe, and then that Ecstasy,
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    CAR R I EF I S HER
    and listen to Led Zeppelin. And that’ll be my recipe. Like when I’ve been good, like I have for the past whatever. I’ve been straight … I mean, I was drinking, but I don’t count that. When I’ve been straight for this kind of a while and I really get on edge, the way to take it off is to be with these guys. I love these guys.
    I mean, I don’t want to have sex with them, but that idea is not totally repellent to me, either. Steve, even though he has bad skin, is a great guy, and he’s got an ass like a girl. I never noticed that before. Oh, I’m so happy. I think I’ve really turned this experience around.
    “Steve. Don’t ever leave me. I can’t imagine being separated from you people. Ever.”
    I want to bond with them on some level. I want to show them how I feel. Maybe this is too excessive. Yeah, I should just get more into the music.
    That girl at the party in black … Even the party seems nice now. Maybe we should … No, I’d have to move. Maybe I could call the party and tell them to send the girl here. Thatwould be perfect.
    I just feel at one with everything. I remember the time I took acid, and I took the wrong end of the cardboard and it never came on. Maybe this is like acid. But everything looks the same, it just looks nicer. Nicer to be with. Maybe I should decorate my apartment like this.
    My nose still hurts, though. Maybe I should never take cocaine again. Yeah, from now on I’ll just take Ecstasy every so often. It’s probably better for me. They only just made it illegal, so how bad could it be? And they haven’t even said it’s bad for you. They just don’t really know yet what it does to you.
    How could I not have found this before? I’m so happy. Maybe I should just call the party and ask for that girl. What’d he say her name was? No, maybe I’ll just … Is it rude to jerk off in people’s houses? I’ll just get up and …
    “No, no, no, I’m okay, man. I just wanna use your can. What? No, I’ve snorted heroin, but I would never shoot it. Oh, you would do it for me. Well, I suppose that doesn’t count, then, right? But I wouldn’t have to … ? And it’d just be a little bit, right?”
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    POSTCARDS from the EDGE
    It seems like it would be good. Heroin’s like the natural drug. I don’t know, though. This is so weird.
    “You wouldn’t do anything bad to me, would you? You have such a great expression on your face right now. All right, sure, I’ll trust you. But just give me a little bit. And Steve, you’re driving us back, right? Well, maybe I’ll just crash here then. That’s cool, right? I like Brentwood.”
    I can’t believe this. I’m tying off. This is so weird. I never thought I would do this. But I’m just gonna do it once.
    “Okay.”
    Oh, my God! Now I understand