Postcards From the Edge Read Online Free PDF

talking to myself. I can’t talk to you. What do I have in common with someone who writes articles about stereo equipment? Jesus.
    “All right, let’s just get inside, we’ll get inside. How much cash do I have? Hundred and ten, a hundred and ten bucks, that’s good. Maybe he’ll take a check, that’d be okay. I don’t like to do that, though. What if they …
    “Alex. It’s Alex!”
    What is this asshole, deaf?
    “Hi! Hi, man, how ya doin’? Yeah, yeah, I know it’s late. Yeah, well, we were just drivin’ around and … You know Steve. Yeah. Well, can we come in? Thanks.
    “So, do you have any coke? Half a gram? What do you mean? I thought you were a dealer. Can you get more?”
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    CAR R I EF I S HER
    Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
    “Well, do you have any ludes or anything? I’m really on edge now, I’m so on edge. Well, yeah, get the half a gram, and see if … Whatever you have. Anything you have. I just want anything you have. And Steve wants whatever else there is:”
    Goddamn it, why did I do this? Just give me that half a gram, and then I’ll take the half a gram, and then I’ll try and decide what to do. I’ve gotta figure out how I’m gonna get down … I don’t want to be with these people. Who are these people? I loathe these people. Look at the skin on that guy, God, it’s enough to drive anyone insane. What is that, a bug on the floor? Look at this place. God, what a dive. What a miserable dive.
    I hear people. Why do I always hear people? Wait, now, this is the coke, just calm down. What’s the big deal? Just calm down. I can’t believe this, I’m not gonna be able to drive. I feel like digging a hole in the carpet. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.
    Is that the sun coming up? No, it’s probably just … It is, it’s the streetlight. I just hope those birds don’t come out. I’ll kill myself, I will, I’ll kill myself if those fuckin’ birds come out. I’ve gotta have those ludes, gotta have a set of ludes just to get me down. Maybe I should check his medicine cabinet, but he’s a dealer so wouldn’t he be smart about that? Nah!
    “Can I use your bathroom?”
    I loathe this guy. Let’s see, what’s he got? Anacin. Afrin. Actifed. Lomotil-sure, ‘cause he’s got the runs all the time from the baby laxative in his fuckin’ blow. Percodan! Jesus!Two. Two’s not usually enough, but fuck it, I’ll take the two. Endo 333, oooh, my favorite. I better run the water so they don’t hear me close this. Aaahh, that’s good, that’ll be good. I’ve taken so much blow, though. Two Percodan on all this blow won’t even matter. Maybe I should go get health food … Tomorrow I’m really …
    That’s it, man, this is it. I’m gonna remember this, I’m always gonna remember this. That I’m sitting here in Brentwood with two loser guys that I have nothing in common with, doing drugs and trying to make conversation. I could kill myself. I loathe my life.
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    POSTCARDS from the EDGE
    I’ll neverfeel those Percodan. Goddamn it, I hope he’s got some ludes. Please let him have ludes.
    “Oh, man, I feel a little better after going to the john. Hey, listen, man, you wouldn’t have any ludes or anything? I mean, I know I asked you already, but I had like a very tense day. I had some bad wheatgrass juice and … I don’t know, maybe it’s an astrological thing, but …
    “Ecstasy? No, but I’ve heard of it. Yeah, right, who hasn’t? Aren’t you supposed to be with girls or something? Really? It just puts you in a good mood? Well, great, give me some. A good mood? Oh, great. No, no, I’m in a good mood now, I’m just in too strong of a mood. No, let’s, let’s … Give me one of those. Sorry, I didn’t mean to grab.
    “Great! They’re big, aren’t they? Do you have anything to wash it down? Any tequila or anything? Yeah, beer’s fine. Oh, wow. So how long do these take to kick in? No, not since that juice this afternoon. Really? That quick? What’s in it, do you know? Somebody said there