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spitfire she is.]
    Mia’s Random Act of Princess:
    Be like Belle: Give that ugly guy in your Bio class a second look. Yeah, he might tuck his sweater into his pants and wear a retainer… but when he takes it out, he might be a totally excellent kisser! It’s just like Mrs. Potts says: There may be something there that wasn’t there before.
    CLARISSE,
DOWAGER PRINCESS OF GENOVIA
    Clarisse Renaldo, nee Grimaldi, was just a carefree young debutante—educated in the finest finishing schools in Europe, and garbed in only the most flattering creations of top designers of the era, such as Givenchy and Dior—when she caught the eye of the handsome prince of Genovia one night at a ball given in his honor. Instantly smitten, the prince pursued Clarisse relentlessly, but she would have nothing to do with him, for Clarisse had aspirations of her own, and they had nothing to do with marriage and motherhood. No. Clarisse— though she had never admitted as much to her staid mother and father—wanted a career… a career on the stage! Not since Sarah Bernhardt had the world seen such an actress as Clarisse… or so she had been assured by all of her finishing-school chums, after she starred as Yum-Yum in the school’s version of The Mikado.
    It was only when Clarisse’s mother pointed out that in order to be an actress, Clarisse would have to move to America, most specifically Hollywood, that the young princess-to-be knew her dream would never be realized… because while Clarisse would gladly live in Paris or New York, nothing in the world would ever induce her to move to Los Angeles. And so she accepted the young prince’s proposal and became Genovia’s most beautiful—and charismatic—princess of all time.

    [I can’t believe Grandmère managed to weasel her way into this section. And that she convinced Tina she wanted to be an actress. She told ME she wanted to be a brain surgeon.]
    Tina’s Random Act of Princess:
    Be like Clarisse: Go to the animal shelter and adopt a small stray dog. Take it with you everywhere dogs are allowed. In places where dogs are not allowed, take your canine friend anyway, hidden in a large chic purse.

IV.
    A Note from
Her Royal Highness Princess Mia
    Sad but true: some of the world’s greatest leaders have been overlooked by historians, simply because they happened to have been born lacking a Y chromosome! Look at Lady Jane Grey: she was queen of England until she was beheaded for treason, * but does anybody ever hear about Queen Jane? No! Even the movie they made about her was called Lady Jane.
    And okay, maybe it’s because Jane was only queen for nine days, and that’s not a whole lot of time to make sweeping social change. But they could still give the girl her props. I mean, she was a queen!
    I’m just saying, we hear a lot about the men who ruled the throne, but not so much about the ladies. So here are some women who ruled not only wisely but well, and what we can learn from their triumphs as well as their mistakes.
    Â 
    CLEOPATRA
    by Lilly Moscovitz, Best Friend to Princess Mia, and writer, producer, and director of Lilly Tells It Like It Is.
[with comments by Princess Mia]
    Cleopatra, the last of the Egyptian monarchs before Egypt was overtaken by the Romans, is perhaps best known for her memorable introduction to Julius Caesar. Always one to make a big impression, Cleo arrived at Julius’s house rolled up in a carpet, from which she was dramatically revealed by Nubian slaves. In this way, Cleopatra was a lot like one of our modern-day pop princesses, Britney Spears, who once showed up at the MTV Video Music awards wearing little more than a five-foot banana snake around her neck.
    It is doubtful however that Britney could have manipulated her boyfriends as skillfully as Cleopatra did (I mean, look at how messy her breakup with Justin turned out to be). Cleopatra’s relationship with Marc Antony (after