Perfect Princess Read Online Free PDF Page B

animated series was canceled in its prime. Also I don’t believe either Thundarr or Ariel was really all that into labeling their relationship—you know, boyfriend/girlfriend versus just friends. Ariel was too busy traveling around post-apocalyptic Earth in a sparkly unitard, helping Thundarr and his mutant friend Ookla right wrongs done by evil warlords, and Thundarr was… well, too busy being Thundarr.
    Ariel wasn’t just a princess, either. She was a sorceress, too, who had special magic bracelets that aided her in correcting the deviant behavior of evildoers (too bad the NYPD can’t get their hands on a pair of those). The power source for these bracelets has long been a source of debate among fans of the ’toon. However, intensive research (a Thundarr marathon on the Cartoon Network) reveals that the bracelets were most likely powered by some force within Ariel herself. Whether her sorcery was Wiccan in origin or perhaps something she came across while rooting through some old twenty-first-century stuff—an old Tony Robbins video, perhaps—will probably remain a mystery forever… which of course only makes Princess Ariel more compelling. “Ariel! Ookla! Ride!”
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    [Plus, you know, seeing as how a comet had split the moon in half, causing Armageddon back on Earth, Ariel was the last princess on the planet. It was a LOT of responsibility. Props to her for dealing with it so bravely, and for all that running around, even when she had her period and probably wanted to do nothing more than curl up with a copy of Cosmo and a cup of Swiss Miss sugar-free cocoa with mini-marshmallows.]
    Mia’s Random Act of Princess:
    Be like Ariel: Buy a necklace, ring, or bracelet (or use one you already own) as your personal talisman, and wear it every single day. If people ask you why you wear it, look mysterious and don’t answer. Soon the object will take on mystical properties and give you power beyond your imagination. Or not.
    ELIZABETH I
    The Virgin Queen (although if you believe the Cate Blanchett movie made about her, she wasn’t as virginal as all that) gave her name to what was arguably the most colorful and magnificent era in English history. It is interesting that a woman whose father, Henry VIII, had his own wife—Elizabeth’s mother, Anne Boleyn— beheaded would prove to be such a level-headed and effective leader. One would have thought Elizabeth would at the very least have developed borderline personality disorder or antisocial tendencies, but she managed not to fall into the trap of victimhood and simply grew up with a firm resolve never to marry (who can blame her?).
    The Elizabethan Age brought with it not just a renaissance in art and music, but also Sidney, Ralegh, and of course, the Bard himself, William Shakespeare. Not to mention Sir Francis Drake, explorer extraordinaire. England’s golden age took place during the latter part of Elizabeth’s reign. Sir Francis Bacon was one of the queen’s lawyers, and Edmund Spenser wrote “The Fairie Queene” in her honor during this time. Although the queen often hinted she would marry in order to form pacts and allegiances with other countries, she never did, and while some might find the reluctance of one of the most powerful women in the world to marry neurotic, I find her aversion to the matrimonial state understandable, given the example set by her own parents’ marriage.
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    [And of course—perhaps most compelling of all— Elizabethan England was the backdrop for one of the most important cultural events of our time… the movie Shakespeare in Love! Which proved flat-chested girls can get guys too!!!!! And who can forget Dame Judi Dench’s portrayal of Elizabeth I, in her stiff collar and white face-paint (face-paint that, it was later revealed, was lead based, causing the skin of her face to peel and crack—Queen Elizabeth’s, not Dame Judi