high school when it happened.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Keeping his eyes on the food, he pulled out the chicken and potatoes while I grabbed my favorite thing . . . the homemade bread. “My parents loved to go sailing. Sometimes they would take me with them when I was little. When I got into high school and started dating Kacey I stopped going with them. I had my own life, you know?”
“Oh, I get it. Alas, I didn’t have loving parents like that. I mean my mother was great, but she was all I had along with Matt. My father left when I was three.” Setting his plate on the blanket, he laid down and rested on his elbow, facing me but keeping his eyes on the ocean while he ate. “How did they die?” I asked.
He popped a piece of bread in his mouth and chewed it slowly. “There was a big storm that came through off the coast of Fiji. They were trying to get to land before it hit, but they didn’t make it in time. I guess you can say I spent a lot of my high school years angry. I didn’t start getting into trouble until after that. Kacey kind of kept me grounded.”
It was strange to think that Kacey, the girl who stole Tyler’s heart, had also stolen Paxton’s once before. I should be jealous, but I wasn’t. She helped get Tyler to where he needed to be. He couldn’t get that with me.
“So Kacey helped you?”
He smiled and finally looked at me. “She was everything to me. At least, until we moved on. Is that how Bradley was with you? Are you upset that you two aren’t together anymore?”
I took my time chewing my bread and turned my head. Bradley was my friend and lover, but he wasn’t everything to me. I’d never had that. “No, it wasn’t like that with us,” I murmured. “Don’t get me wrong, I feel the loss of him here,” I said, rubbing a hand over my heart. “But I’m honestly not that upset about it. Our time had come to an end.”
“So you don’t blame me?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Why can’t you look at me and say that?”
Turning to him, I looked him straight in the eyes. “No, I don’t blame you, Paxton. I don’t think I’ve really been in love with anyone before. I loved Tyler and Bradley, but with Bradley it was more of a friend kind of love and with Tyler it was pretty much all lust.”
Then it hit me. That sharp feeling in my chest wasn’t hurt or sadness, it was envy, longing. I wanted to feel that kind of love. All of my friends were gone, scattered. Having Ashleigh around helped me to not feel so lonely. Now she was gone.
“What’s that look for? You seem upset,” Paxton remarked, grabbing my attention.
“Sorry, I was just thinking. I didn’t really realize what my problem was until just now.”
“What are you talking about?”
Swallowing hard, I fiddled around with my food so I wouldn’t have to look at him. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but if I said them out loud I wouldn’t be able to take them back. It would show my vulnerability and I didn’t want that. The only problem was, I didn’t have anyone else to talk to. How in the hell did it get to the point where Paxton Emerson was literally all I had?
“I just realized I’m alone now,” I whispered. “All of my friends are gone.” If I was honest with myself, I should be thanking him for making me stay with him. At least now I wasn’t physically alone.
His hand came down on mine, soft yet strong. “No, you’re not, Gabby. Because I’m here, and as long as you’re with me, you’ll never be alone. I promise.”
AFTER OUR DINNER on the beach, I had felt embarrassed admitting my insecurities so once we got back, I retreated to the first bedroom I could find and closed myself up. Paxton was actually being nice, but I shut myself off and ran away.
When morning arrived, I quietly got out of bed and threw on a pair of shorts and a tank top. Surely, he had a gym in his monstrosity of a house. Or better yet, some breakfast.
Sneaking out of the room, I