my tuna? It’s
really good.”
“ No. I’m fine.”
The waiter came over and refilled their drinks. Melissa smiled at him
as he left and tried again.
“ So did you win?’
“ No. Good negotiating is knowing when to
lose.”
“ Work has been hectic. I have a new account,
the client is driving me mad with all of her requests.”
“ I’m sorry,” he said softly.
“ I’m just venting.”
Roy nodded.
“ This tuna really is superb. You sure you
don’t want to taste it?”
“ No. I’m not a big fan of tuna,”
Roy replied.
After a while she too become unobtrusive. She knew he wasn’t
upset at her for taking the call, there must be more on his mind. He
wasn’t being crabby but his answers were short, obligatory. She
retreated into her own thoughts. Melissa knew that Roy was only
responding to her moods and so she didn’t blame him. Not in the
slightest. She knew Roy, better than anyone and knew when he
completely analyzed his thoughts, he would finally broach the
subject. It was on the ride back home that Roy finally said what was
on his mind.
“ Melissa, is everything okay? With us I
mean. You seem so distant lately…” he trailed off.
Melissa took a deep breath, but she was still so confused in her own
mind and heart, how could she tell him any of this without hurting
him? How could she answer him when she didn’t know the answer
either? So she took the coward’s way out. Smiling she turned
towards him, bringing her hand up to caress his cheek.
“ Everything is fine, my love. I just have a
lot on my plate at work. I hate not being at one of my events even if
Courtney is there. I always worry something will go wrong. I just
feel overwhelmed.”
“ What can I do to help?” Roy asked,
the hidden plea in the back of his voice. “You know you can
take time off. Maybe we can do some traveling. I am positive my
brother could handle everything while I’m away.”
“ No. It’s busy season for both of us.
Maybe when things calm down,” Melissa replied softly.
Roy loved Melissa. He absolutely adored her. When he thought about
his future Melissa was always a part of it. The problem was that so
were children. He couldn’t understand her attitude about
adoption. They were so blessed. They had great lives. Took vacation
twice a year. Summer home in Arizona, a cabin in the Blue Ridge
mountains. They both loved going to theater and silly things like
bowling and karaoke. They volunteered on the weekends and donated to
charity. In truth, they led full and fulfilling lives. But the truth
was there was something missing. They had just gone to visit Roy’s
older sister Katherine in Maine for the holidays. He had an amazing
time. Kate had three children, all of whom he loved dearly. He had
felt complete helping them with the Christmas decorations, sharing
hot chocolate and watching them open presents. Putting his infant
niece down for her nap. It felt right. They had so much, how could
they not share those blessings with a child? But Melissa had closed
the topic. Said she didn’t want to talk about it and Roy had
complied. He wanted her to be happy but he wanted his happiness too.
As Roy drove home, he was deep in thought. There was something he
wanted to talk to Melissa about but he didn’t know how to bring
it up. He made up his mind that he would talk to her in the morning.
Melissa knew that Roy needed her more than ever. It was true she had
been distant these past few months. She didn’t know what was
wrong with her. She just didn’t feel like she was enough for
him with all this baby talk but she didn’t know how to explain
that to him without him getting defensive. She knew they needed to
reconnect and as they lay in bed Melissa laid her head on his chest
trying to get as physically close to him as possible. When that
wasn’t enough she let her fingers trail across the contours of
his chest. She ran her fingertips along his belly and then let her
hand explore further, finally finding his