One and the Same Read Online Free PDF Page A

people are fascinated by twins because they don’t realize they grow up. They think twins are little, and then we grow up and go to another planet.”
    â€œWe’re like Disney films,” Lisa says. “We’re timeless!”
    That night, back in my Courtyard Marriott, I flip through the hotel’s movie menu and one description catches my eye in the “Adult” selections: “Nympho Twins.” I tell myself it’s a valuable research tool and click “purchase.” The hotel’s summary of the film shows up on the screen, and it’s priceless: “Over 90 minutes long, this title is a great value. They’re real twins and they love to screw the same guy at the same time. Light story line.”
    â€œLight story line.” (Not like some porn movies, known for their complex narratives.)
    Lacey and Lyndsey Love (actual twins—I checked later) play thenympho twins; one is more sexually inhibited than the other, and the shier twin has a crush on her coworker. The more confident twin offers to get him warmed up while her twin waits in the bathroom; after a dose of foreplay, the twins switch places. As can be expected, there’s the inevitable confusion: When the timid twin replaces her sex-savvy counterpart, she asks the man to give her oral sex. “But I already ate you!” he says, confused—and then obliges.
    Believe it or not, I didn’t watch the whole film.
    By nine the next morning, a brilliant Sunday, the village green is crammed with cars and onlookers waiting to see the Doubletake Parade. Twins in sunglasses, flip-flops, even large butterfly wings, gather on the dew-damp grass. The smell of the soil reminds me again of Robin: how we used to gather on the muddy baseball field on Fire Island for day camp on summer mornings, how she and I always won the three-legged races on that field because we instinctively knew how to move as one person.
    So many photographs from my mother’s scrapbooks remind me of Robin’s and my physical proximity, and how natural it was. One image shows us at eight years old, in a summer costume festival: We’re in bright clown makeup and identical red shirts, each of us stuffed into one leg of a pair of oversized yellow overalls. Another shot shows us making an arch with our arms, in matching white tutus before a ballet recital.
    As the Twinsburg parade assembles, twins climb into vintage roadsters, pickup trucks, and an El Dorado convertible. Some carry parasols for the sun. One mom proudly wears a button: GOD GAVE ME TWINS .
    A male pair in their fifties, Dana and Greg, are dressed in custom T-shirts that say NATURALLY CLONED IN 1956 . Greg points at the wives. “They’re still mixing us up!” He smiles. “Yesterday my wife grabbed my brother’s butt in Wal-Mart!” Greg says that despite his perfect health, when Dana had a heart attack four years ago, Gregwent immediately to the doctor. “The doctor said, ‘You look fine, but because of your brother’s heart issues, we’re going to CAT you.’” It turned out that Greg had exactly the same blockage. “I ended up getting four stents!” he marvels.
    Dana and Greg drive off to join the parade line.
    There are maybe twenty twins under age five in matching T-shirts and black masks on a float meant to evoke the movie
The Incredibles
. A large sign on the front blares OUR TWINS ARE TWINCREDIBLE!
    The pageant proceeds down Main Street, which is lined with spectators along the curb or sitting on porches. Some marchers toss candy to the waving children. Some sing “When the Twins
Go
Marching In.”
    The two-mile route ends at the fairgrounds, which are set up with food booths featuring frozen bananas and chicken teriyaki on a stick. Nearby the science tents advertise their research projects: Genetic Basis of Skin Disease in Twins Pairs; Twins Day Gum Study; Facial Changes in Identical Twins.
    I wander over to