Life After Read Online Free PDF Page A

where Lexi and I are standing next to each other waiting for my mom to take a picture when I burst out laughing. Mickey Mouse walks up behind us and puts rabbit ears on us. I stay awake for hours letting our laughing voices surround me once again, I can pretend for a short while that it’s reality.

Chapter Five
     
    Getting into the car was going to be a problem. It took me about four tries before we could actually get on the road. I kept having panic attacks whenever I sat down and had to breathe into a paper bag. How stupid is that? I’m broken. I may never be fixed.  
    I ended up having to double up on my anxiety medicine, Xanex–which the doctor prescribed while I was still in the hospital its good stuff and I’m not going to complain about taking it. The only downside is that it makes me feel foggy sometimes… I took a double dose after the panic attack and it made me loopy enough that Jenny was able to get me in the car and on the road without me freaking out every few minutes. I could tell by the way she was tapping her fingers on the steering wheel she was stressed out, my mom used to do the tapping thing too, maybe it’s a sister thing?
    Gradually coming out of the fog I sit there for a minute taking in my surroundings until I realize we are in fact moving. All hell breaks loose. It all happens so fast that I’m not even sure it’s real but I see a glint off a vehicle and my only thought is that I have to get out of the car. It’s a life or death situation and my heart is galloping and my breath is coming out in great big gasps. My chest is tightening and I can’t breathe. I need to get out of the truck. Yanking the seat belt off I don’t think I just go for the door handle. Jenny swerves to the side of the road and slams on the breaks seconds before I push open the door and tumble out my elbow hitting the rocks on the side of the road, their jagged edges biting into my flesh. Pulling myself the rest of the way army style I literally just lay there panting grateful to be out of the car. . I hear Jenny run over to the side of the road where I am but refuse to look at her.
    Breathing heavily I inhale fresh air as if it was the cure for everything thankful to still be on solid ground. Squinting I pull my sunglasses down from the top of my head shielding my eyes from the sunlight I stay there for several minutes waiting for my body to stop shaking. Jenny leans into the passenger side and grabs my purse feeling around for my pills. Pulling them out and grabbing a sprite from inside the truck she twists off the caps and hands me the drink and pills. She doesn’t need to say anything. My face is bright red and hot with embarrassment, I can almost guarantee she is wondering what she got herself into with me.
    Turning to look at that stupid car I inhale watching Jenny twist something on the side of the door before going to get back into the driver’s side of the car.
    When she walks away I lean forward to see what she did. I read aloud, “Child Lock engaged.” No shit. Eighteen with child locks installed. Go me. I guess almost jumping from a speeding car makes it necessary.
     
     
    ***
     
     
    Shifting in my seat to get feeling in my numb butt, I can only hope we are going to stop soon. I’m very thankful  Jenny has a truck and not a car so I can stretch out and not be all scrunched up and uncomfortable, but it doesn’t help.. Even with the medicine holding my panic at bay I find myself tightening my seatbelt  and watching the other cars pass us, wondering if we or anyone else will get into accidents today.
    They saying that everything can change in a split second is so  true. I would never in a million years think I would be the sole survivor of an accident that killed my entire family. I mean in reality it’s something no one freaking thinks about. Sometimes life really blows. Biting my nails while staring out the window silently   we pass a guy carrying an old guitar case trying to hitch a ride.