New Kid Catastrophes: 1 (TJ and the Time Stumblers) Read Online Free PDF Page A

with it out of sight . . . just as Dad arrived.
    “TJ?” Dad asked the fake TJ. “What’s all the screaming about?”
    “I’m sorry,” Fake TJ said in a high-pitched voice. “I was just practicing for the talent show.”
    “Talent show?” Dad asked.
    “Yes, I’m trying out.”
    “Well, that’s great. I’m glad you’re working to fit in.”
    “Thanks,” Fake TJ said, his voice cracking slightly.
    Dad tilted his head. “Are you okay? You sound strange.”
    “Oh, that.” Fake TJ coughed slightly. “I might be coming down with a cold.”
    “Well, go to bed early tonight,” Dad said. “I don’t want you getting sick before your big audition.”
    “Good idea. Thanks.”
    He gave a nod and headed back down the steps. Only then did he notice the real TJ (who was now a floor lamp standing next to the wall). “Where’d you get that lamp?”
    “Oh, that.” Fake TJ pretended to giggle. “I found it in my closet. Can I keep it?”
    He scowled. “I don’t know. It’s pretty ugly.”
    Hey , Real TJ thought , even us floor lamps have feelings!
    “Please?” Fake TJ begged. “I know just the place for it.”
    Dad hesitated, then shrugged. “Sure, it’s your room. Why not?”
    “Great.” Fake TJ beamed.
    Dad nodded and headed for the stairs. “I love you, TJ.”
    “I love you too, Poppsy,” Fake TJ said.
    Poppsy? Real TJ thought. What person on earth calls their dad Poppsy? (Then she remembered Fake TJ wasn’t exactly a person from earth.)
    Dad shook his head in amusement and continued down the steps.
    As soon as the coast was clear, Fake TJ pulled out another blade from his Swiss Army Knife and

    morphed back into his tall, surfer self.
    “That was close,” Chunky Guy said as he came back into the room.
    “Fur sure,” Tall Dude agreed. Then, turning to the floor lamp, he said, “I don’t know how you can see us. Must be something majorly zworked with our cloaking device. But if we turn you back into you, do you promise not to scream again?”
    TJ tried to answer but ran into the same I can’t talk without a mouth problem.
    Chunky Guy rolled his eyes. “She is not capable of answering us.”
    “Oh, right,” Tall Dude said. “I knew that.” He turned to TJ. “Okay, then, blink once for yes and twice for no.”
    TJ tried to nod, but without a head, nodding can also be a little difficult. So, concentrating with all her might,

    she imagined turning on her lightbulb. And sure enough, after a few more grrrr s, errrr s, and arrrr s, it came on! But only for a second before it went off.
    “Great.” Chunky Guy smiled.
    TJ was so impressed with herself that she did it again.
    “That’s two times,” Tall Dude said. “So you are going to scream?”
    No, no, no , TJ thought. She blinked the light a third time. Then a fourth.
    “What’s she doing?” Tall Dude asked.
    “As you may recall, the history holographs say her math skills are somewhat limited.”
    “Oh yeah.”
    “Let us proceed to the room,” Chunky Guy said. “Perhaps if we sit down and explain everything, she will cooperate.”
    Tall Dude nodded and walked toward her.
    Of course TJ blinked again and again, hoping Dad or Violet or little Dorie would hear—er, see her. Unfortunately, no one did. No one except the two aliens who she was about to discover weren’t really aliens at all.

CHAPTER FOUR
Blink, Blink, Blink,
Blink, Blink, Blink,
Blink, Blink
    Time Travel Log:
    Malibu, California, October 10—supplemental
    Begin Transmission:
    Cloaking device has failed. Subject sees and hears us. Must now brief her on project . . . while trying not to flush her next-door neighbor down the toilet.
    End Transmission
    Tall Dude picked TJ up and carried her into her room, where she listened carefully. Well, as carefully as a floor lamp with fancy trim around the shade can listen.
    “Allow me to introduce myself,” Chunky Guy said. “My name is Thomas Uriah Norman Alphonso . . . the third.”
    “We call him Tuna, for