Never Let Go (Take My Hand) Read Online Free PDF

it so difficult to say? Why did it feel like
it was wedged in my throat, choking me every time I tried? “And they’ve missed
out on all these years with you. Well I’m glad. They deserve it. They deserve
to know what they’ve lost. They never deserved your love in the first place!”
    My voice grew higher, more vengeful with each
sentence. I didn’t realise until Chris pulled me into a hug that by the end of
my rant, I was screaming.
    “I don’t want them to know,” he whispered in my ear,
making me pull back from his embrace. He must’ve caught the question in my eyes
because he added, “I mean it. I don’t want them to find out about this.”
    “You can’t be serious! Chris, they’re going to find
out when… when this is over. Or what, you want me to keep that from them too?”
    “They’ve not wanted to know me for years, Emmie. I’ll
be damned if I let this change anything. I don’t want their sympathy… not that
I’m convinced I’d get it anyway.”
    “You can’t put that kind of burden on me. It’s not
fair. This is hard enough without me having to lie about it. If they ask about you, I don’t know if I’d be able to
keep it together.”
    “Oh come on. How likely is that? Do they ever ask about me?”
    “Actually, Dad rang while we were still in Ohio. He
asked how you were.”
    “Bullshit.”
    “I’m telling you the truth.”
    “So what did he say when you told him.”
    “Um…”
    “If you’re not prepared to lie to them, then don’t you dare lie to me .”
    “He said he shouldn’t have asked and changed the
subject,” I admitted. “But it’s a start, right? It proves he still thinks about
you.”
    “Too little too late. If this situation has taught me
anything, it’s that life really is too short to waste your time on people who
aren’t worth it.”
    “They’re your parents.”
    “Well I sure as hell don’t feel like their son.”
    “I can’t believe this is happening,” I said. My voice
caught on the last word and when I blinked, it gave my unshed tears all the
force they needed to start dripping from my eyes again.
    “I’m not gone yet, sis. And I plan to have so much
fucking fun before I am. You with me?”
    “Chris, I…”
    “You can let my last memories of you be watching you
cry… or having some fun with your big brother. So, Emmie… are you with me?” he
repeated in a more demanding tone.
    “Yes,” I agreed with a weak smile. “I’ll do anything
for you.”
    “There’s my girl,” he said before bringing my back
into his embrace. “It’ll be okay, you know.” How? How will the fact my brother is going to die ever be okay? “Now go downstairs and put
Dexter out of his misery. The poor sod’s been tearing himself up about keeping
this from you.”
    “He should have told me,” I argued, even though I’d
already forgiven him.
    “Come on, Emmie – put yourself in his shoes. He
found a letter that he wasn’t supposed to see yesterday, and after I explained
I made him promise to keep it quiet. Would you refuse a dying man when all he
was asking for was one day?”
    “Don’t say that.” Even though I was beginning to
accept it was true, that didn’t mean I wanted the ‘D’ word rubbing in my face
at every available opportunity.
    “You’re going to need him. Don’t push him away.”
    “I love you so much,” I cried into his chest. My voice
was so high I’m not even sure I was intelligible. I squeezed Chris tightly
– clinging to him like this was the last chance I would ever get. “This
isn’t fair.”
    “I know, Emmie. I know.” He continued to hold me for a
few minutes longer. He swept away the loose strands of hair that stuck to my
tear-soaked cheeks and rocked us back and forth together. “I love you, too.”
    I sat up and my hand instinctively reached up to his
face. After palming his cheek for a second my fingers wandered to the back of
his head.
    “You look so normal. It’s hard to believe there’s
something in there