witch, but she could also bequite kind and gentle. It was something she hoped to grow out of as she got older.
Dickie stood up but he couldnât run away because his legs had sort of vanished. He still had feet â in fact he now had four of them and they were self-levelling hydraulic feet. As he looked down for what would be the last time, he thought that he actually looked nicer made of stainless steel than he had made of skin and fat. He had a gorgeous ice-cube maker in his left-hand door and a plasma TV in the right.
So, of course, Dickie died â which he definitely deserved to do, to save the world from himself â but he died happy and very shiny. His last thought was: Wow, I am, like, the handsomest, most expensive fridge in the shop. If only Mum could see me now.
The last thing he said was:âMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm.â Which he hummed in a very soft, expensive sort of way several times a day.
âAll that magic has made me really hungry,â Betty said to herself. âI wonder what sort of stuff you get inside a fridge youâve just turned someone into.â
Sheâd decided that Dickie would probably be empty and have to charge up overnight to get cold, until she remembered that Dickie was a magic fridge. And when Betty peered inside, he was lovely and cold and full of her favourite food. In the freezer, there were seventeen kinds of ice-cream. In the fridge, there was a huge plate of cold roast lamb with a two-litre jug of mint sauce. There were barbecued chicken wings, a sticky date pudding and a very large box of chocolates with no hard toffees at all.
Betty took out a tub of delicious strawberry ice-cream.
âExcellent,â she said, as Vlad licked the last of the fish oil off the floor.
No one in Dickieâs family noticed he was missing at first. Mr and Mrs Dent didnât like their children very much, and the less they saw of them the more they liked it. Once, Tracylene had been in prison for a month for shoplifting, and her parents hadnât even noticed sheâd gone.
When Mrs Dent stuck Dickieâs burger, chips and beans down on the table for his tea and realised sheâd just put it on top of another plate of burger, chips and beans, she wondered why her son hadnât eaten his tea the night before. She shouted upstairs for him but by the time she realised he hadnât answered, her favourite programme was on the TV, so she didnât bother. The opening music was playing and it drewher like a magnet towards the screen. 14
There were five plates of burger, chips and beans piled on top of each other before she thought that maybe Dickie was not at home.
âI wonder where heâs got to?â she said as she sat down to watch TV again.
âWho?â said Mr Dent. âTracylene, get me another beer.â The beer fridge was in the hall, to be nearer to Mr Dentâs TV chair, but even then, it was too much of an effort for him to fetch his own drinks.
âGet it yourself,â Tracylene shouted from her bedroom. She loved her dad in the same way people love walking in dog poo. âIâm off out, Mum.â
âDonât do anything I wouldnât do,â Mrs Dent told her.
âYou wish.â
Tracylene was wearing her favourite outfit, although the endless diet of burgers, chips and beans made it harder to fit into than she remembered.
âMust have shrunk in the wash,â she said to herself as she checked her reflection in the mirror. âStill looking good, though.â
This was a strange definition of âlooking goodâ. Large amounts of Tracylene bulged out above and below her bright pink mini-skirt and alarge amount of her chest simply refused to stay where it was meant to. The fact that her spindly high-heeled shoes didnât collapse under her weight was proof that Chinese engineers were very clever people.
âRubbish underwear,â she muttered, topping
Dickie stood up but he couldnât run away because his legs had sort of vanished. He still had feet â in fact he now had four of them and they were self-levelling hydraulic feet. As he looked down for what would be the last time, he thought that he actually looked nicer made of stainless steel than he had made of skin and fat. He had a gorgeous ice-cube maker in his left-hand door and a plasma TV in the right.
So, of course, Dickie died â which he definitely deserved to do, to save the world from himself â but he died happy and very shiny. His last thought was: Wow, I am, like, the handsomest, most expensive fridge in the shop. If only Mum could see me now.
The last thing he said was:âMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm.â Which he hummed in a very soft, expensive sort of way several times a day.
âAll that magic has made me really hungry,â Betty said to herself. âI wonder what sort of stuff you get inside a fridge youâve just turned someone into.â
Sheâd decided that Dickie would probably be empty and have to charge up overnight to get cold, until she remembered that Dickie was a magic fridge. And when Betty peered inside, he was lovely and cold and full of her favourite food. In the freezer, there were seventeen kinds of ice-cream. In the fridge, there was a huge plate of cold roast lamb with a two-litre jug of mint sauce. There were barbecued chicken wings, a sticky date pudding and a very large box of chocolates with no hard toffees at all.
Betty took out a tub of delicious strawberry ice-cream.
âExcellent,â she said, as Vlad licked the last of the fish oil off the floor.
No one in Dickieâs family noticed he was missing at first. Mr and Mrs Dent didnât like their children very much, and the less they saw of them the more they liked it. Once, Tracylene had been in prison for a month for shoplifting, and her parents hadnât even noticed sheâd gone.
When Mrs Dent stuck Dickieâs burger, chips and beans down on the table for his tea and realised sheâd just put it on top of another plate of burger, chips and beans, she wondered why her son hadnât eaten his tea the night before. She shouted upstairs for him but by the time she realised he hadnât answered, her favourite programme was on the TV, so she didnât bother. The opening music was playing and it drewher like a magnet towards the screen. 14
There were five plates of burger, chips and beans piled on top of each other before she thought that maybe Dickie was not at home.
âI wonder where heâs got to?â she said as she sat down to watch TV again.
âWho?â said Mr Dent. âTracylene, get me another beer.â The beer fridge was in the hall, to be nearer to Mr Dentâs TV chair, but even then, it was too much of an effort for him to fetch his own drinks.
âGet it yourself,â Tracylene shouted from her bedroom. She loved her dad in the same way people love walking in dog poo. âIâm off out, Mum.â
âDonât do anything I wouldnât do,â Mrs Dent told her.
âYou wish.â
Tracylene was wearing her favourite outfit, although the endless diet of burgers, chips and beans made it harder to fit into than she remembered.
âMust have shrunk in the wash,â she said to herself as she checked her reflection in the mirror. âStill looking good, though.â
This was a strange definition of âlooking goodâ. Large amounts of Tracylene bulged out above and below her bright pink mini-skirt and alarge amount of her chest simply refused to stay where it was meant to. The fact that her spindly high-heeled shoes didnât collapse under her weight was proof that Chinese engineers were very clever people.
âRubbish underwear,â she muttered, topping
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