Mr. Louie Is Screwy! Read Online Free PDF Page A

powerful thing in the world.”
    That’s when I got a genius idea. In fact,I got two genius ideas!
    But I’m not going to tell you what they are.
    Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. But you have to read the next chapter. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

11
My Genius Ideas
    Okay, here’s genius idea #1: Me and the guys would hold a protest rally in front of the church and stop the wedding.
    Mr. Louie had told us that back in the Sixties, kids were always protesting stuff. He said if you didn’t like something, you could protest and change the world. Ididn’t like Miss Daisy getting married, so the best way to stop it would be to protest.
    On the morning of the wedding, my mom said I had to wear a jacket and tie. What’s up with that? Why do men have to wear a dumb cloth around their neck? Whoever thought up that idea should get the Nobrain Prize. That’s a prize they give to people who don’t have brains.
    I went to the church with my parents. Michael, Ryan, and Neil the nude kid were waiting out front. I told my parents to go inside and I would meet them in there.
    â€œOkay, let’s do this!” I told the guys.
    The four of us formed a line andstarted marching back and forth in front of the church.

    â€œDOWN WITH LOVE!” I chanted. “LOVE STINKS!”
    â€œNO MORE KISSING!” Ryan chanted. “KISSING SPREADS GERMS!”
    â€œSTOP THE WEDDING!” Michael chanted.
    â€œGIRLS HAVE COOTIES!” chanted Neil the nude kid.
    We were hoping other boys would join our protest, but nobody did. It was just the four of us marching back and forth. That’s when Mr. Louie came out of the church. He was wearing a black robe.
    â€œWhat up, dudes?” he asked.
    â€œWe’re protesting against the wedding,” I told him. “You said if somebody doesn’t like something, they should protest.”
    â€œProtesting against love is a bummer,” Mr. Louie told us. “Come inside and sit down.”
    So much for genius idea #1. It was time to try genius idea #2.
    Me and the guys went in the church and sat down together. * I had been to one wedding before. It was at our school, when Mr. Klutz married a pig. But I don’t think that was a real wedding, because Mr. Klutz was already married to a human being named Mrs. Klutz.
    Mr. Louie stood at the front of the church. All our teachers were there. Mr. Klutz brought his wife (who wasn’t a pig). Mrs. Cooney was there with some guy named Mr. Cooney. I hate him.
    â€œIs it time?” Ryan whispered to me.
    â€œNot yet.”
    My tie was choking me and I was really thirsty. But there was no way I was gonna drink from the water fountain. Mr. Louie probably put his love potion in that one too.
    There was no time to get a drink anyway, because some lady started playing that “Here Comes the Bride” song on the organ. Miss Daisy came from the back of the church and walked down the aisle with some old guy. She looked really pretty in her wedding dress.
    Then Mr. Macky walked across the aisle and stood next to Miss Daisy.
    â€œIs it time?” Michael whispered.
    â€œAlmost.”
    â€œDearly beloved,” Mr. Louie announced, “we are gathered here together to join this groovy couple in holy matrimony.”
    It was time.
    â€œOkay, now!” I whispered to the guys.

    This was my genius idea: we weregoing to levitate Mr. Louie. If we could make him float up in the air and out of the church, he wouldn’t be able to perform the wedding ceremony. Me, Ryan, Michael, and Neil the nude kid all closed our eyes and tried to levitate Mr. Louie.
    â€œIt’s not working!” Ryan said.
    â€œClose your eyes!” I told him. “It doesn’t work unless your eyes are closed!”
    This was a problem. With my eyes closed, I couldn’t tell if Mr. Louie was levitating. And I couldn’t levitate him with my eyes open.
    â€œIs he floating?” asked Michael.
    â€œI