Mr. Louie Is Screwy! Read Online Free PDF

don’t think so,” Neil said.
    â€œWe need more love!” I told them.
    We kept trying to levitate Mr. Louie for a long time. I concentrated so hard that my brain hurt. When I opened my eyes, Mr. Louie wasn’t at the front of the church anymore. Maybe it had worked. Maybe he had floated away!
    But then I saw him. He was coming over to us!
    â€œDudes,” he said, “what are you doing?”
    I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I had to think fast.
    â€œUh, we’re just grooving on the love vibes,” I told him.
    â€œI can dig that,” Mr. Louie said. “Gimme some skin.”
    We all slapped Mr. Louie’s hand, and hereturned to the front of the church to continue the ceremony.
    â€œThat levitation thing didn’t work at all,” Ryan whispered in my ear. “Do you have any other genius ideas?”
    â€œNo, I’m out.”
    Oh, well. We tried our best. There was nothing I could do now. It was out of my hands. Mr. Louie said a bunch of lovey-dovey stuff about Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy. He told everyone how they met in the teachers’ lounge and fell in love.
    â€œDo you, Mr. Macky, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?” Mr. Louie asked.
    â€œI do.”
    â€œDo you, Miss Daisy, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
    â€œI do.”
    â€œIs there anybody here who knows why these lovebirds should not be united in wedded grooviness?” asked Mr. Louie. “Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
    I looked at Michael. Michael looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at Neil. Then they all looked at me. You could hear a pin drop.
    â€œStop the wedding!” I shouted, standing up.
    Now everybody in the church was looking at me.
    â€œA.J.!” shouted my mother.
    â€œMr. Macky and Miss Daisy are not inlove!” I yelled. “They just think they are. He only asked her to marry him because Mr. Louie put love potion in the water fountain at school!”

    Everybody gasped.
    â€œThat’s the craziest thing I ever heard,” said Mr. Klutz. “Is this true?”
    â€œI was just jiving you, A.J.,” Mr. Louie said. “There’s no such thing as love potion.”
    â€œThere isn’t?” I asked. “What about levitating the school? Were you jiving about that too?”
    â€œYeah, I was just yanking your chain, A.J. Don’t flip your wig.”
    I sat down.
    This was terrible! Do you realize what this means? If there was no love potion in the water, it means I kissed Andrea…because I wanted to! It means the LoveMachine must have been right when it said I loved Andrea!
    I love Andrea!
    Ewwwwww! Disgusting!
    I thought I was gonna die. Now I would really have to run away to Antarctica and live with the penguins.
    â€œI now pronounce you husband and wife,” Mr. Louie said. “Dude, you may kiss the bride.”
    Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy kissed. It was gross, but nice, too. It was a real Kodak moment.

12
Happily Ever After
    As soon as the wedding was over, I took off my dumb tie and ran to the water fountain. I really needed to get hyphenated.
    Mr. Klutz was handing out bags of rice, and he told us to throw the rice when Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy came out of the church. Cool!
    â€œRice fight!” I yelled.
    Me, Michael, Ryan, and Neil ran around throwing rice at everybody. I nailed Andrea in the face. I threw some rice at that Mr. Cooney guy, too. Serves him right for marrying Mrs. Cooney.

    It was cool. You should have been there! We kept throwing rice until Mr. Louie told us to knock it off.
    Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy got into a car. There were a bunch of cans tied to the bumper with string. What’s up with that? People who tie cans to their car are weird.
    Finally, Mr. Macky and Miss Daisy drove away. We all waved good-bye as the cans rattled down the street.
    I guess we won’t see Miss Daisy or Mr. Macky for a while. Maybe Mr. Klutz will