Mr Gum and the Biscuit Billionaire Read Online Free PDF Page A

Launderette innocently, taking out his red notebook.
    Another victory, he wrote. The pea soup joke was HILARIOUS.

    Friday’s motorbike was parked outside on the high street.
    â€˜Hop on, Polly!’ he shouted, starting the bike up with a roar.
    â€˜Don’t roar like that,’ said Polly. ‘It scares me.’
    â€˜Sorry,’ said Friday and stopped roaring. Herevved the engine and off they zoomed. Before too long they came across another banknote blowing on the wind. Soon after that they saw one stuck in a hedge and soon after that they saw one stuck in a pop star’s haircut.
    â€˜We’s on the right track!’ cried Polly. On, on they went, and all the while they saw money. Money, money, money, flapping on the wind or stuck in bushes or being eaten by magpies and tramps.
    Soon they had left the town far behind and Polly began to get a little worried. They were riding through strange fields with twisted up trees and scarecrows with no heads. Sinister sounds like ‘
YIM!
’ , ‘
KOOBLES!
’ and ‘
BEEF!
’ rang out from the undergrowth and who knew what creatures lurked therein? Storm clouds were gathering and the day had grown dark and threatening.
    â€˜Where is we, Frides?’ Polly whispered.
    â€˜I’m not sure, little miss,’ replied Friday.‘But have faith. The Universe is a mysterious place, and everything happens for a reason. Except for stinging nettles. They’re just a nuisance. But not to worry, there’s none ’round here!’
    Now, Friday had barely said these knowledgeable words when the motorbike broke down in the middle of a great big patch of stinging nettles. Huge ones they were, towering higher than Polly’s head and full of bad pains for anyone who tried to mess with them.

    â€˜Brummigans!’ exclaimed Friday. ‘We’ll have to walk from here.’
    â€˜Look at all them nettlers,’ trembled Polly. ‘Just a-waitin’ to sting us to bits though we done nothin’ to them!’
    â€˜Fear not, little miss,’ said Friday, heaving her on to his shoulders. ‘Though I am old, my legs are as strong as – OUCH! OOH! OW!’
    â€˜You brave, brave man,’ said Polly from her position of safety above the treacherous plants. It was a bit unlucky that Friday had chosen to wear shorts that day and no shoes or socks, but there you go. That’s life.
    â€˜OUCH! OOH! BLIMEY! FLAN! EEK! MOOO! FLURTLE!’ grimaced Friday as he picked his way through the nettles. They seemed to go on forever but he kept at it, because he was a force for good and his heart was true and his feet were bare. At last they reached the edge of the field and there Friday collapsed like a broken gypsy in the scrubby grass.
    â€˜Go on without me,’ he gasped, his legs covered in painful white blisters. ‘I’ll . . . be . . . all right . . .’
    â€˜I won’t leaves you, Friday!’ said Polly, cradling his head in her arms. ‘I’ll stay with you forev–’
    Just then they heard a voice coming from somewhere below.
    â€˜Oi! Caterpillar Joe! I can’t wait to escape to France with all that money what we stole,’ someone cackled.
    â€˜It’s the robbers!’ whispered Friday urgently. ‘Now go, Polly. Go and save the day with your Pollyness!’

Chapter 8
Smuggler’s Cove

    W ith one last glance back at Friday, Polly pushed through the long tall grass and found herself on a windswept cliff top. It was Hangman’s Leap and, lordy, it was a more wretched place than ever.Remember those rocks that looked a bit like nasty faces? Well, they were still there. In fact, there were even more of them than before, don’t ask me how, but there were. And those manky seagulls with one eye and stuff? There were more of them too, because they’d been up all night breeding new and even more disgusting ones. Some of the new seagulls smoked cigarettes