Mr. Burke Is Berserk! Read Online Free PDF Page A

English?”
    Mrs. Lilly was going to ask Mr. Burke more questions, but you’ll never believe in a million hundred years who came running in front of the camera at that moment.
    I’m not gonna tell you.
    Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. But you have to read the next chapter first. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on you.

10
Violins Are Bad for Children
    It was Mayor Hubble!
    He grabbed the microphone from Mrs. Lilly. His secret service agents shoved Mr. Burke away from the camera.
    â€œI’m happy to announce,” said the mayor, “that all the gold and gilver found on school property belongs to the city. We will use it to balance the budget blah blah blah blah create new jobs blah blah blah blah fix the roads blah blah blah blah cut taxes blah blah blah blah this great country blah blah blah blah and furthermore blah blah blah blah how long is this going to go on blah blah blah blah wake me up when it’s over blah blah blah blah…”

    He yammered on for about a million hundred hours. I thought I was gonna die of old age.
    â€œIn conclusion,” the mayor finally said, “vote for me on Election Day. Thank you.”
    Mrs. Lilly and the Channel 7 guys turned off their camera, packed up their gear, and drove away.
    â€œOkay, the show’s over,” said Mayor Hubble. “Everybody go home now. I’ll take care of this gilver. And all you teachers, get back to class! You should be ashamed of yourselves.”
    The secret service agents started to load the bags of gold and gilver into the trunk of Mayor Hubble’s limo.
    The teachers were sad. They had worked really hard to dig up the gold and gilver. Now Mayor Hubble was taking it away. We wouldn’t be able to fix up the school. We wouldn’t be able to bring back the art and music programs. We wouldn’t have any toilet paper.
    Bummer in the summer! This was the worst thing to happen since TV Turnoff Week.
    We all started walking back into school. That’s when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. In the distance, at the other end of the playground, a tall, mysterious stranger appeared. He was walking toward us in slow motion.
    And he was bald.
    It was Mr. Klutz!
    â€œMr. Klutz!”
    â€œMr. Klutz!!”
    â€œMR. KLUTZ!!!”
    In case you were wondering, everybody was shouting “Mr. Klutz.” He stopped about twenty feet from Mayor Hubble.
    â€œKlutz!” said the mayor. “What in blazes are you doing here?”

    â€œThey let me out of principal camp early,” said Mr. Klutz. “The jig is up, Mayor. Give us back that gold and gilver. It doesn’t belong to you.”
    â€œWho’s gonna make me?” the mayor asked.
    â€œOoooooooooooooooo!” everybody said.
    â€œAh reckon Ah am,” said Mr. Klutz. “Because yer gettin’ too big fer yer britches.”
    â€œOoooooooooooooooo!”
    â€œSmile when you say that,” said the mayor.

    Mayor Hubble looked at Mr. Klutz. Mr. Klutz looked at Mayor Hubble. All the kids and teachers were looking at Mr. Klutz and Mayor Hubble. Nobody was saying anything. A tumbleweed rolled by.
    â€œThat gilver belongs to mah teachers and mah school,” said Mr. Klutz. “Ah reckon you’re tryin’ to steal it and keep it for yourself.”
    â€œYer lyin’ like a rug, Klutz,” said Mayor Hubble.
    â€œAnd yer so crooked, you could swallow nails and spit out corkscrews,” said Mr. Klutz. “Just give back the gilver and nobody gets hurt.”
    â€œNothin’ doin’,” said the mayor. “Ah’m afraid this playground ain’t big enough fer the both of us, Klutz.”
    â€œOoooooooooooooooo!”
    â€œThen Ah’m gonna have to give you a whuppin’ you’ll never forget, Mayor,” said Mr. Klutz, “’cause you’re a bad egg.”
    â€œOoooooooooooooooo!”
    â€œAh’m gonna kick your butt so hard, they’re