Love... And Sleepless Nights MAY 2012 Read Online Free PDF Page A

my lunch’ .
    ‘Just lift your shirt for me, Mrs Newman.’
    Unbelievably, Jamie giggles at this.
    I know what’s happening.
    He’s nervous about the scan as well, and whenever my husband feels uptight he reverts to childhood sensibilities.
    I shoot him a look filled with sharp daggers. He shifts in his seat to cover his embarrassment.
    ‘This is the transducer,’ Narinda tells us.
    I thought that was the movie where the robots change into cars, but I keep my mouth shut because that’s obviously not right.
    ‘I’m going to run this over your belly and we’ll see what pops up,’ Narinda exclaims cheerfully.
    I don’t know what’s going to ‘pop up’ Narinda, but if it even slightly resembles an Alien face hugger you’re going to have to get out of the way of an exploding Laura Newman as quickly as you can.
    Narinda then squirts cold lubricant over my stomach. The tube makes a dispirited farting noise as it empties itself. I deliberately don’t look at my husband beside me, as there’s every chance he’s trying to suppress a look of childish glee.
    ‘Off we go then,’ Narinda says, as if we’re all going on a jolly outing to the seaside, rather than examining the alien life form currently taking up residence in my uterus.
    For a while there’s not a lot to see on the screen. Just a static cloud of white against a dark background.
    Narinda runs the transducer across my belly again, this time a bit slower. This is obviously taking longer than usual as she’s starting to look like one of those lunatics you see on the beach with a metal detector.
    A few more seconds go by and she still can’t seem to find the pot of gold she’s looking for.
    Jamie’s hand tightens on mine. We’re both feeling the tension now. Either my baby has developed superhuman powers of invisibility – which will bode well for him or her in later life – or there’s a problem.
    Heart rates increasing, we watch Narinda take another pass.
    Finally, she lets out a short laugh of satisfaction and focuses in on one point. ‘There we go, there’s your baby.’
     
    …and indeed, there it is.
    The child growing inside me.
    The blob that will one day become a child, anyway.
     
    ‘Is it a boy or a girl?’ Jamie asks in a dreamy voice.
    ‘Too early to say, Mr Newman,’ Narinda tells him.
    It’s wobbling.
    The tiny peanut shaped foetus is moving about.
    Aaarrgghh! There’s a person inside me moving around!! Aaarrgghh!!
    Why did no-one bloody warn me?!
    All you ever hear about is doe-eyed mothers listening to the heartbeat for the first time, and getting all misty eyed while they gaze at the creature lurking in their womb on a small, hazy television screen.
    They don’t mention the bizarre feeling that comes with realising there’s a living thing floating around inside your body, taking up valuable real estate and nicking half your food.
    There’s a word for things that do that: parasite!
    Aaarrghhh!!
    ‘Wow. That’s so cool,’ Jamie says.
    Well, he bloody would , wouldn’t he?
    He loved Alien - and all the sequels. It’s not him that this thing is going to erupt from in a few months and proceed to systematically murder everyone on board ship!
     
    …okay. I have to get a grip here. I’m just having a pregnancy panic. This isn’t the first and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I’m giving birth to a baby… not the Alien.
     
    I take a few deep breaths as I study the image on screen. The foetus jiggles again making my heart race, but the more I look at it, the more used I become to the concept that I have a living, breathing human being inside me.
    ‘Would you like to hear the heartbeat?’ Narinda asks, knowing full well what the answer will be. Jamie and I both nod – him a little more enthusiastically than me if I’m being honest.
    ‘This is the part I love the most,’ the sonographer says happily, turning up the volume.
     
    It’s like listening to the sound of the universe…
    The measured ‘thump-thump,