Love... And Sleepless Nights MAY 2012 Read Online Free PDF

thump-thump’ is almost hypnotic. It fills the room – and it fills my entire body.
    I look at Jamie. This time the child-like expression on his face is beautiful. He looks completely awestruck.
    I’m sure I look exactly the same way.
    ‘Wonderful, isn’t it?’ Narinda says in a calm voice.
    It takes me a few moments to form words. ‘Yes,’ I tell her, mouth as dry as the
Sahara
. ‘It’s incredible.’ All thoughts of Ridley Scott horror movies are banished from my mind by that consistent thump-thump of my baby’s heart. I could listen to it forever.
    ‘It sounds like the start of an AC/DC song,’ Jamie says, doing his usual brilliant job of ruining a perfect moment.
    ‘What?’ both Narinda and I say at the same time.
    ‘Yeah! You know… da-dah, da da-dah, da-dah, da da-dah.’ He starts miming playing the drums. I start to consider divorce proceedings.
    Then, to compound matters, he starts to sing.
    ‘ The video game says play me… ’ It’s an awful screeching voice, like a cat having its testicles squeezed in a vice. ‘ Face it on a level, but it takes you every time on a one-on-one… ’ he continues, until he realises we’re both staring at him. ‘You know... it’s Who Made Who, isn’t it? Great song.’ Jamie points at the ultrasound screen. ‘Even the kid likes it.’
    I look back at the screen and yes - oh good God in Heaven yes - it looks like one tiny arm is raised above the rest of the body.
    My unborn foetus - still too small to even have an identifiable gender – has one arm aloft in a fist-pump.
    I’m going to give birth to a heavy metal fan.
     
    Narinda turns the volume back down with a huff.
    I can’t blame her attitude. She’s probably not used to having what she obviously perceives to be a magical moment reduced to an excuse for a fully grown man to play air drums.
    ‘Your baby looks perfectly healthy at this stage, Mr and Mrs Newman. The heart beat is strong and regular.’ And in the key of C apparently. ‘I detect no problems, and am happy to book you in for your next scan in a few weeks, when we should be able to identify the gender, if you want to know it.’
    Don’t bother Narinda. It’s obvious from the fist-pump I’m having a boy.
    ‘Thank you very much. It’s very nice to have our minds set at rest, isn’t it Jamie?’
    Jamie doesn’t answer.
    He’s sat there with his eyes closed, humming the first few chords of Who Made Who under his breath, fingers twitching rhythmically in his lap.
    ‘Jamie!’
    ‘What?’ he exclaims, startled out of the rock concert going on in his head. ‘Oh yeah, er… yeah . Minds definitely set at rest. Thanks very much for your time.’ He beams at Narinda, then looks back at me. ‘Hey Laura,’ he says, pointing at my stomach. ‘That stuff looks just like the gloop from the Alien movies doesn’t it?’
    Somehow, Jamie manages to make it out of the room without the transducer inserted into his backside.
    This once again displays my sometimes superhuman levels of tolerance.
     
    The drive home is a thoughtful one… for me at least.
    Rather inevitably, I’m subjected to AC/DC’s greatest hits.
    As Jamie headbangs along to the caterwauling noise, I sit back and think about what’s just happened.
    An involuntary hand goes to my belly as I remember the sound of the baby’s heartbeat. A wonderful feeling of contentment passes through me.
    Don’t get me wrong, I’m still absolutely terrified about the whole thing…
    We can’t afford a baby, I can’t imagine the damage it’s going to do to my vagina; and having a child changes your life in ways you can’t even begin to contemplate.
    But that heartbeat is undeniable… and amazing .
    This is going to be a rollercoaster ride that I won’t be able to get off.   And like a rollercoaster ride, it’ll involve a lot of vomit and will end with me screaming my head off.
     
    Love you, miss you, and have a new found appreciation for the twelve hours of labour you went through