Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 09 Read Online Free PDF Page A

can be a bit on the dense side.
    Phoned Jas.
    Her mum answered.
    â€œHello Georgia, gosh you had a fabulous time camping, didn’t you? Jas said you sang and played games till all hours.”
    I said, “Er, yes—”
    â€œYou had a great time, I bet.”
    â€œEr, yes, it was very, erm, campy.”
    â€œGood, I’ll just call Jas, dear. I think she’s in her bedroom dusting and rearranging her owls and so on.”
    You couldn’t really write it, could you? If I wrote a book and I said, “I’ve got a mate who dusts her owls and follows greater toasted newts about,” people would say, “I’m not reading that sort of stupid exaggeration. Next thing you know, someone will say they went to a party dressed as a stuffed olive. Or accidentally snogged three boyfriends at once.” Hang on a minute, everything has gone a bit déjà vu -ish. Jas came on the phone.
    â€œYes.”
    â€œJas, it is me, the Whore of Babylon, but I am preparing myself to forgive you.”
    â€œWhat are you forgiving me for?”
    â€œBecause you are a naughty pally saying things about me being selfish and lax and having a million boyfriends.”
    Jas said, “It’s up to you how many boyfriends you have, I am not my brother’s keeper.”
    â€œJas, I know you aren’t. You haven’t got a brother.”
    â€œI mean you.”
    â€œI haven’t got a brother, either, thank the Lord.I do, however, have an insane sister, who by the way is now probably going to be done for TBH.”
    â€œYou mean GBH—grievous bodily harm.”
    â€œNo, I mean TBH. Toddler bodily harm. Josh’s mum has complained about her and she is suspended from nursery school. She is staying with Grandfarty and he is looking after her. She is the first person in our family to get a restraining order besides Grandad.”
    Jas was not what you would call full of sympatheticnosity.
    â€œI don’t think she will be the last person in your family to get a restraining order, Georgia, I am a bit busy, actually.”
    â€œJas, please don’t have Mrs. Hump with me, I need you, my dearest little pally wally. Pleasey please, be frendy wendys. Double please with knobs. And a tiny little knoblet. And—”
    â€œAlright, alright, stop going on.”
    She deffo had the minor hump, but it was only No. 4 on the having the hump scale (cold shoulderosity work).
    â€œJas, come on, remember the laugh we had when we all snuck off to the boys’ tent? And I came and told you that Tom was there, didn’t I?Even though you were singing ‘Ging gang gooly.’”
    â€œWell yes, but—”
    â€œI displayed magnanimosity, which isn’t something everyone can say. But I did it because I luuurve you. A LOT.”
    â€œOK, don’t go on.”
    â€œYou are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?”
    â€œLook, shut up, people might hear.”
    â€œWhat do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?”
    â€œNO, I mean, anyway, what’s happened?”
    â€œI’ve got a postcard from Masimo and we have to call an extraordinary general meeting of the ace gang.”
    â€œOh no.”
    â€œOh yes.”
    in the park
2:00 p.m.
    Naaaice and sunny. I wore my denim miniskirt and halter neck and some groovy sandals. I will have to do something with my legs, though, because they give me the droop, they are so pale. Rosie had some eye-catching shorts on. They had pictures of Vikinghelmets all over them. She said, “Sven had them specially printed in my honor, groovy, aren’t they?”
    I said, “That is one word for them.”
    Rosie said, “Sven has got his first djing job next weekend and I am going to be his groupie. You all have to come.”
    ten minutes later
    We settled down in the shade underneath the big chestnut tree by the swings. The bees were singing and the birds a-buzzing, dogs scampering around,