Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 09 Read Online Free PDF

people eating ice creams, toddlers sticking ice creams in their eyes by mistake, etc. A lovely lovely summer afternoon, ideal to sort out the game of luuurve.
    We had just passed around the chuddie and decided for Ellen where she should sit after about eight minutes of: “Well, erm, I should sit in the shade, really, don’t you think, because of the ultraviolet, but, erm, what about, erm, not like getting the sun and then like maybe not getting enough vitamin D because that would be, like, not great. Or something.”
    Finally she sat with her top part in the shade and her legs sticking in the sun because we toldher no one had ever got cancer of the knees. Which might or might not be true, but sometimes (in fact, very often, in my experience) lying is the best policy. Especially if you can’t be arsed talking about something boring anymore.
    one minute later
    I don’t know why I bother lying because Ellen has gone off to the loos to run her wrists under cold water so she doesn’t get sunstroke of the arms.
    Jas still hasn’t turned up. I wonder if she has progressed to No. 6 on the hump scale and is doing pretend deafnosity?
    thirty seconds later
    The ace gang started talking about the camping trip and sneaking out to see the lads at night.
    Mabs said, “I had a go at snogging with Edward.”
    Jools said, “What was it like?”
    Mabs chewed and popped and said, “Quite groovy, we did four and then a spot of five.”
    I said, “Oh, so you missed out four and a half as well. I said I thought it was a WUBBISH idea that Mrs. Newt Knickers came up with. Who apartfrom her and Tom would do hand snogging?”
    Mabs said, “What do you mean ‘as well’?”
    I said, “What do you mean ‘What do you mean “as well”’?”
    Mabs put her face really close to mine.
    â€œGeorgia, you said and forgive me if I’m right…‘oh, so you missed out four and a half as well.’ Which means ‘Oh, so you missed out four and a half as well AS ME.’ Meaning you must have missed out four and a half with someone. The only someone around was Dave the Laugh.”
    Oh my red herringnosity skills were letting me down.
    Mabs was going on and on like Jas’s little helper.
    â€œSo what did you get up to with Dave the Laugh by the river?”
    I said in a casualosity at all times sort of way, “Ah well, I’m glad you asked me that. Because suspicionosity is the enemy of friendshipnosity. The simple truth is that Dave and I were playing, erm, tig. Yes, and I accidentally fell in a stream and then I went back to my tent because I was, er, wet.”
    Rosie said, “You and Dave were playing tig. Isee. One moment; I must give this some serious thought. Luckily I have my pipe.”
    Oh no.
    two minutes later
    Good Lord, I am being interrogated by Inspector Bonkers of the Yard.
    The inspector (i.e., Rosie with her pipe and beard on) continued, “You expect us to believe that you and Dave the Laugh gamboled around the woods playing a little game of tig?”
    I said, “Yes.”
    Rosie said, “You are, it has to be said, my little chumlet, even dimmer than you look.”
    Ellen came back then, just in the knickers of time. I smiled at her and said in a lighthearted but menacing way, “You haven’t told us about Declan. It is ace gang rules that we do sharesies about snogging.”
    Rosie and Mabs raised their eyebrows at me, but I ignorez-vous ed them.
    Ellen heaved herself into her Dithermobile and said, “Well, Declan showed, well, he showed me, something and—”
    Inspector Bonkers of the Yard winked, suckedon her pipe and went, “Ay ay.”
    Ellen went even redder and more dithery.
    â€œNo, I mean, it was his Swiss Army knife.”
    Inspector Bonkers got out a pretend notebook.
    â€œAlright. So you looked at his knife and then did you snog?”
    Ellen said, “Well, when we were,