Life Is Not a Reality Show Read Online Free PDF Page A

win-win situation for me!
    Of course, love is paramount. At least for me. Some people, especially in this town, may have other priorities—like women who hunt for big bank accounts, or men who only go out with models. I can’t comment on those relationships.
    I can only comment on my own relationship and the many relationships I’ve observed. Love is the essential ingredient in a successful union. But the best way to give love a chance to work its magic year in and year out is to make sure it’s based on respect and shared values.
    Those are the things that will carry you through life.

CHAPTER 3

Learn the Language
    As you now know, I grew up in a house packed with females. I wasn’t around guys much when I was a child. I saw my father on weekends but didn’t live with him, and I never had any brothers. You might think that would have left me clueless about men, but in fact, it gave me an excellent education about the male species. I have managed to put that education to good use in my own life—and I want you to benefit from it too!
    Honestly, sometimes I feel like growing up in my house was like going to Dating University. I got to learn so much about how the male mind works and, most important, how to apply that information. If I had to sum up all the knowledge I acquired at Dating U, it would boil down to this: to be successful with men—to attract a man, to encourage him to fall in love with you, to keep him once you get him!—you need to communicate on a level that men can understand.
    It’s almost like they speak an entirely different language than women. We women tend to think we’re in love and want to have a guy’s children the second we meet him. Right? It’s funny, but you know it’s true. “Oh, I could see myself marrying him; he’s so cute! I like his laugh! He has a nice car! Whatever!” Guys don’t think that way. It takes a lot longer for them to come around, and they often need a lot of encouragement along the way. But just the right kind of encouragement. You have to learn their language!
    Let me explain how I got my master’s in men, with a specialty in languages.
    I am the youngest of three sisters. Kathy is ten years older than me and Kim is five years older. In addition to my real sisters, there were four other girls who lived off and on at my house: Sue, Roxanne, Tracy, and Wendy, all older than me. I thought of them as big sisters and still do; they continue to be very much a part of my family’s life. Two of them were Kathy’s best friends and two of them were the daughters of my mother’s best friend, who had passed away. My grandmother also lived with us. So I was surrounded by up to eight—eight!—women at any given time.
----
The Best Advice I Ever Got from My Mom
    » Carry yourself with confidence
    » Speak your mind
    » Never be intimidated by anyone
    » Always act like a lady
    » Play hard to get—but be smart about it
    » Always put your children first
    » Have a signature look
    » Don’t overpluck your eyebrows!
----
    Having all those girls around meant that a lot of boy issues were discussed at my house, and my mother was the queen bee, dispensing advice left and right, especially at night after the girls would get home from dates. And I was listening in!
    You see, I slept in my mother’s bed until I was fifteen years old. That may sound weird, but when I was very little, I did some horror movies, including Halloween I and II , and they left me absolutely terrified of sleeping alone in the dark. I was so scared that someone would break into my room with a knife! So my mom let me sleep with her.
    This is how it would go: late at night, one of the girls would come home from being out with a boy and tiptoe into my mother’s room to see if she was awake. My mother would jump right up and turn the light on. “Oh, I’m not sleeping!” she’d say. “Okay, tell me everything from the time you got in the car.” She didn’t want to miss one detail.
    When I was