Life Is Not a Reality Show Read Online Free PDF

really young I would pretend to be asleep during the play-by-plays, but even then I’m sure I was soaking things up subliminally. As I got older, and especially when the conversation got juicy, I would pretend I was sleeping and listen to every scrumptious piece of information! It really was way too much information for my age, but it was priceless! And then when I got even older, I was allowed to openly listen in on some of it. I would sit there quietly creating a little checklist in my head. You don’t do this; you don’t do that; but you do do this. This is what works; this is what doesn’t.
    The stories would go on and on, and my mom would dole out her nuggets of wisdom. Sometimes one of the girls would come in crying about something, maybe upset because the guy she went out with didn’t call her back. My mom would say, “That’s because you were an idiot and didn’t handle yourself properly!”
    My mom had rules, like, “Never go too far; you have to be a lady,” or “You don’t let him do that on the first date,” or “You only do such-and-such after you’ve gotten past the fifth date.” It may seem like simple advice, the same kind of things moms have been telling their daughters forever. But the difference for me, and the reason I paid attention and filed everything away to put into practice later, was that I actually got to see it in action . I got to hear the real-life stories and saw what happened when the girls followed my mom’s advice—or didn’t.
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Top Ten Reasons Not to Let Your
Daughter Star in a Horror Movie
    10. Her friends can’t go to the premiere without their parents getting upset.
    9. She’ll have psycho fans obsessed with horror films following her for her whole life.
    8. She’ll never let her own children watch scary movies.
    7. You’ll never let her watch her own scary movie.
    6. She’ll end up with anxiety disorders.
    5. She’ll have to obsessively check the back seat of her car every time she gets in it.
    4. She’ll be afraid of the dark for as long as she lives.
    3. She won’t want to sleep alone again until she’s eighteen.
    2. She’ll have an unnatural fear of sharp objects.
    And the number one reason never to let your daughter star in a horror movie:
    1. She’ll never trust a man in a Halloween mask.
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    And now I can see in my own life how valuable that advice has been. For example, my mom always said, “Don’t sleep with him right away!” Of course she said it; wouldn’t every mom? Yeah, for a reason! It’s still just as good an idea today as it was thirty years ago. Because it’s not about the sexual customs of the day, or about upholding strict standards of conduct based on morality—well, for some people it is, and that’s fine. But even beyond that, it just makes good sense. It always has and it always will, because the basic natures of men and women don’t change.
    It’s all about understanding the male brain, the big one in his head and his little brain too! Ha-ha! It’s about being fluent in the language of men.
    A man can sleep with you and enjoy himself and never think a thing about you again. That’s just the way men are, whereas once we have sex with a man, we’re likely to start dreaming about the next step and the next, all the way to love ever after. We’re ready for him to just sweep us off to his castle already. But that’s not the way sex translates to them. It just doesn’t mean a lot in their language.
    If you’re looking for something more meaningful, more exclusive, more lasting—more like love —then you have to make him wait awhile. Instead of jumping into bed the minute he shows interest in you as a sexual partner, try to wait until he truly cares about you as a person. Because if he doesn’t care about you as a person, what reason does he have to come back to you—except for more sex? If he hasn’t had a chance to get to know you, what is he going to miss? If his first experience of you is basically going to bed