what to say.
Then he explained to me that today happened to be his sonâs birthday, and that his son was at a restaurant in the mall with his mother. He asked if I would come with him and meet his family.
When we got to the restaurant, and the kid saw me standing with his dad, he literally crumbled into my arms, he was crying so hard. It was an incredible moment, I was crying my ass off. I just held his face in my hands while he cried. I kept saying âhappy birthday, youâre so beautifulââI didnât know what else to say. I was a mess.
Suddenly the boy looked at his father and asked how his father had found me.
His father was crying too. âI didnât find her, she found us,â he said.
Itâs moments like this, moments of pure, real emotion and healing, for people I donât even know, that make everything else about doing this show completely worth it.
Loyalty is important, but
itâs a two-way street.
Thereâs something I want to get straight with you. Youâve seen me deal with a lot of complex emotional situations over the past four years. From the mail I get, it seems that a lot of viewers are confused by my words and my actions. People write me and say I always talk about loyalty, but I havenât shown loyalty to my fellow cast mates. I consider myself loyal to a fault, but that doesnât mean Iâm an idiot.
Loyalty means always telling the truth, even if someone doesnât want to hear it. And sometimes, your loyalty demands that you walk away from somebody rather than turn on them or be a fake friend.
First and foremost, I am loyal to myself. I cannot fake it with anyone. Thereâs no way on earth I can sit at a table with a person I donât like and not let it show. I find it impossible to look at someone whoâs doing something horribly, drastically wrong and say âthatâs OKâ when itâs not. I just canât. Maybe if I could, things would be easier.
I think itâs been proven that I prefer to stay quiet on the show. I have avoided as many confrontations as I can. I have tried so hard to never add any fuel to the fights or feuds that happen around me. And somehow I have gained a reputation for being forceful. I donât understand it.
Ask Caroline
Hey Caroline! Iâm a twenty-four-year-old college guy who is gay, but I havenât told my mom yet. If you were my mother, how would you want your son to come out to you?
Iâm going to assume that your relationship with your mom is healthy. I understand that thereâs a level of discomfort in discussing your sex life with your mother, and you might be worried that your mom may not understand or could condemn your sexuality.
Let me tell you this: Iâd be surprised if she doesnât have a good idea that youâre gay already. A motherâs instinct is intense. Sheâs probably just waiting for you to bring it up.
Wait for a time when you have her undivided attention so you can talk in private, without interruption. Speak from your heart, and be open and honest. Help her understand the emotions youâve been dealing with on your journey, and show her what it feels like to be you.
If your mom is in fact shocked by your admission, just give her the time she needs to absorb things and then revisit with her.
As a parent, the one thing I want is for my children to live a life full of health, peace, and happiness. Everything else is unimporÂtant. Thereâs nothing worse than a parent watching their child suffer. I imagine that this secret from your mom is standing in the way of you living your life in peace and being happy. Good luck, and no matter what your momâs reaction is, I want you to be proud of who you are. I wish you all the happiness life has to offer you.
I can count on one hand the times Iâve stooped to confrontation on the show: I lost my temper during the first-season finale, when Danielle started attacking my