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upon a lie and because of the lie
    it may or not be sin
    Brother Klogphorne
    isn’t lying a sin?
    Not always young proselyte
    There are categories of both sin and lie
    to which all poets and piddlers are exempt
    by fact of diplomatic and professional immunity
    and all politicians guilty
    the divisions being first malicious
    and then those designed to prolong one’s life, sacrosanct idleness
    marriage or commerce with teenage progeny
    which should be automatically forgiven
    but not so the malicious
    which are lies designed to inflate the self like a toad
    or tear down another person like a glow worm
    deliberately crushed beneath a miscreant’s heel
    in order to take away or mar what is rightfully his
    or in some instances hers
    Brother Klogphorne, then what is sin?
    the ones they say you can go to Hell for?
    Well sir young believer
    while Brother Dante Alighieri who well may
    have preached a revival service at this edifice some time in the past
    did a remarkable job of stratifying hell-bound sin
    I will offer the following as my personally updated
    Texas-based additional considerations
    The only sins you can go to Hell for from any god I could believe in
    are murder of one who did not need killing
    stealing something of value or precious memory from someone who
    needed it, fraud on the part of politicians and currency manipulators
    provocations of any war without the intent
    of taking an active role in the actual combat effort
    that being overt cravenness
    and then the ones you’re familiar with from this training
    designed to produce the next generational crop of deacons
    and elders including not being a tithing member
    of whoever’s church you’re talking to
    having sex with children
    dancing for Baptists and Campbellites
    the latter for which it is the Unforgivable Sin
    not putting enough money in the collection plate
    and malicious and political lying
    all others are recreational and forgiveable
    or just bad manners
    which is why we have wives
    to affect and inflict punishment
    You don’t think adultery
    and fornication are sins
    then?
    I believe I have covered that topic
    as well as I am able
    the remainder is the parental responsibility
    based on familial more’ and obfuscation
    What else can I do for you young potential missionaries?
    Mr Klogphorne
    can I ask you a personal question?
    Of course you may
    I am all rimed ears
    so you fire away
    Did yall have sex
    when you were alive back then?
    Young man
    this being inside a churchhouse
    I am bound by oath, covenant, and custom
    to tell the truth, the whole truth
    and nothing but the truth
    so here it is complete and intact
    We invented sex
    It did not exist prior to our discovery
    the world being dystopic and non-functional
    My generation gave our youth wholeheartedly
    to the definition, methodology and perfection of the practice
    up to the point that it exists today
    which is the legacy of trust we pass on to you
    for final realization and fulfillment
    If any of you have doubts whatsoever
    as to the veracity of that statement
    ask your parents or grandmothers
    and I promise you this
    Your parents will look you directly in the eye
    and lie to you about the subject
    as a matter of sacred protection of our mutual trust secrecy
    regarding divine inspiration and creation
    and your grandmothers will blush and deny that sex exists at all
    then go sit somewhere in the cool shade
    with a purloined Baby Jesus fan
    wondering whatever possessed you to ask such a thing
    and that will be your unimpeachable proof
    mark my words
    Brother Klogphorne
    do you remember when you learned about it?
    Young fellow sir neophyte
    I most certainly do
    every one of you in this room should know Maxine Durrant
    and if you have not been in her Woman’s Store
    to buy your mother a birthday present
    I am ashamed of, with, by and for you
    as she was the most beautiful young creature
    in the world since Eve when we were going
    about the business of inventing sex
    I