Laggan Lard Butts Read Online Free PDF

Everybody else get in tight. I’m going to break long so you have to heave a football pass to me. Got it?”
    â€œPiece of cake.”
    â€œOkay, let’s break and—” “Wait,” Tanner said. “Everybody put your hands together.”
    Hand over hand we piled our hands making a big, multi-layered hand sandwich.
    â€œOn three I want everybody to yell,
Go, Lard Butts
!”
    We all looked at him with the same stunned expression.
    The score table buzzed to signal the end of the time-out.
    â€œYou heard me. I want you all to give that cheer.”
    â€œIs that okay, Coach?” Cody asked.
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œGood,” Tanner said. “One, two, three—”
    â€œGo, Lard Butts!” we all yelled and then we burst into laughter.
    Suddenly all of the tension was gone. Everybody looked relaxed. We got into position on the court.
    The ref handed the ball to Tanner. We settled into a tight stack, and the crowd began cheering for their team to take away the ball and score. I broke quickly in and then cut back in the opposite direction. I was completely open, and Tanner tossed the ball. It was long and way over my head! I jumped up, extending as far as I could. The ball just brushed the tips of my fingers. I chased it down, grabbed the ball and went for a lay-up. The ball dropped through the net at the same time the buzzer sounded. It counted!
    We’d won, and, even better, we were in the play-offs!

chapter seven
    We all stood at attention in the office while the last few notes of the national anthem played. Over to the side, beside their mailboxes, a couple of teachers were holding a whispered conversation. I fought the urge to shush them the way they would have if it had been us talking. Did respect for your country stop when you got to a certain age and position? I was pretty darn proud ofmyself for not saying anything, though. At the start of the school year I would have, but now I was starting to understand that it would only get me in trouble.
    â€œPlease be seated,” Taylor said over the PA as the music ended.
    Students worked in threes to do the announcements each week. It was our week. Personally I hated it, but both Tanner and Taylor were hams. They would have liked to be in charge of the announcements every week.
    â€œThe senior choir will meet at first recess in the music room to rehearse for the graduation assembly,” Tanner said.
    He handed me the microphone.
    â€œThis is the last week to hand in permission forms for the grade eight field trip,” I read off the sheet. “Remember, no form, no trip.”
    I made a mental note. I hadn’t returned my form yet. I was pretty sure it was somewhere in my locker, or my bedroom, or maybe my backpack. That narrowed it down.
    â€œNow for our thought of the day, as written by our principal, Mr. McGregor.‘Winners never quit and quitters never win,’“ Taylor read. “Definitely words to live by. And speaking of winning, yesterday, in a dramatic win, the boys’ senior basketball team won their game by a score of forty-three to forty. This win propelled the team into sixth place in the standings and into the play-offs. The first play-off game is scheduled for next Tuesday.”
    Tanner came up and took the microphone and both he and his brother leaned right into it. “Go, Lard Butts!” they yelled.
    My mouth dropped open. I looked over. The two teachers by the mailboxes had stopped talking.
    â€œAnd that concludes our morning announcements. Have a great day!” Tanner sang out and then put the microphone down on the top of the file cabinet.
    We started to walk out of the office.
    â€œHow’d you like our little advertisement?” Tanner asked.
    â€œCaught me by surprise,” I admitted.
    â€œWe need name brand recognition,” Taylor said.
    â€œWhat?”
    He chuckled. “I was reading about advertising on the Internet last night. The