God Rob Ye Merry Gentleman Read Online Free PDF Page A

soonest mended,’ she intoned, then growled, ‘If you don’t shut up this minute, I shall brain you, and, be warned, this is Great-Uncle Sylvester’s stick which has a lead-loaded handle.’
    â€˜But I just caught sight of my gold lighter in that window,’ he struggled through his woollen gag.
    She leaned over her scooter to get near his ear, and he winced and leaned away from her, convinced that she was going to bite him. ‘Hugo, just can it. I’ve seen my bridge pencils and Great-Aunt Jemima’s baton. Let’s make our way to the police station, which is, after all, only a stone’s throw from here, and see if DS Glenister is on duty.
    They were lucky; the DS was in the CID room and, therefore, able to come to the front desk to speak to them. ‘The compliments of the season to you both,’ he carolled. ‘How are you both, and how can I be of assistance?’
    â€˜Actually, it’s a bit delicate,’ explained Lady Amanda, in a stage whisper which could probably be heard in the street outside.
    â€˜Shall we go into an interview room where it’s more private?’
    â€˜Lead the way, young man.’
    They had left their mobility scooters in the carpark, suitably padlocked, and trusted to luck that they would be safe, thus secured and so close to the forces of law and order that prevailed in the small city of Belchester.
    When the social niceties had been observed, Lady Amanda made her dramatic accusation. ‘There is a group of people going round casing joints and returning later to rob the properties of small and easily fenced items of value. We have located some of these objects, and no doubt your excellent PC Baldwin will be able to trace and recover any others. Beauchamp is sure that he recognised the head of the gang, and I would suggest that you give this your immediate attention, as most of the items will have been repurchased from their illegal possessors before Christmas Day.’
    Hugo nodded, there being nothing of value to add except to enumerate the items that they already knew about for the purposes of recovery.
    â€˜That’s quite an accusation, Lady Amanda. Do you think you could start at the beginning, and go through events as you know them to have occurred, and I will then have a better idea of what you are talking about.’ Adrian Glenister knew that the elderly spinster was rarely wrong about her hunches, and had no reason to doubt her now: he just needed things to be explained with a little – actually, a lot – more detail.
    â€˜Let me record this so that I have a concrete source of reference. We’ll treat this as a statement.’
    â€˜Absolutely smashing!’ exclaimed Lady A.
    â€˜Ooh-er!’ added Hugo.
    DS Glenister pressed the requisite buttons to set the tape reels in motion and began to recite the time and place of the interview, and the names of those present. When he finally pressed the stop button, he let out a sigh of disbelief. ‘We’ll get that typed up and you can sign it. What a filthy little scam. I’ll get the necessary paperwork for the objects to be removed from the shop displays, and I’ll provide a list of the items that you have told me about, to be touted around by the uniforms that we send out on this mission. You were quite right to come straight here. At this mad consumer season of the year, we will have to remove them from open sale as quickly as possible. If you’d be kind enough to let me have the contact details of the friends that you know have “lost” small items of value, I shall have them contacted.’
    â€˜I’ll go one better than that.’ Of course she would: she was Lady Amanda Golightly, the enemy of the crooked. ‘I have all my friends’ contact details on my computer and, if I may be allowed a couple of minutes, I shall phone Beauchamp Senior and get him to email them to you here at the station.’
    Glenister