Gertie's Paranormal Plantation: A Paranormal Romantic Comedy Read Online Free PDF Page B

playfully poked him with one finger. “How long do we have before they hire someone?”
    “Last day of January. It gives us three weeks to figure it out. What do you say, Gertie?”
    I was getting excited about the prospect of having Brad with me all the time. “Let’s do it! I’ll think of something. Don’t forget we are having Leigh and Hunter’s wedding here on Valentine’s Day. Hopefully the girls will get in touch soon on the plans for that.”
    “Oh, I haven’t forgotten about the wedding. I’ve been trying to get every spare room in this mansion ready for guests. Say, how did that appointment with the shrink go today?”
    “Weird. Too short, really. I talked a lot about myself and I have to keep a journal now. I was more than a little surprised that I didn’t get a physical exam. In the end, I got what I went in there for.”
    Randy pulled his chin back, like he does when I say something unusual or surprising. “A physical exam? I wouldn’t have expected to get one at all. I don’t think they do that sort of thing. Oh, I almost forgot. I saw that one of your animals took out a window last night. I’ll make some calls and get someone out here to repair it. Who was the culprit? One of the Sasquatches?”
    “Some stray goat I found wandering around late yesterday. If you look in the cow shed, you’ll see him.”
    Randy shook his head. “No, I was out there earlier this morning to let the cows out. There was no goat.”
    “What? That sneaky little devil.”
    “Talk to you later.”
    After Randy walked out of the door, I immediately thought about Brad.
    It had only been three weeks and the daily calls just weren’t enough. Something had to give and Randy’s plan was right on time, or maybe I was just emotionally vulnerable enough to get talked into it.
    I watched the rosy glow in my bedroom window. It’s my opinion that a beautiful sunset is always a joy to behold, but when you’re missing someone, it’s also a sad reminder of the lonely night ahead. As the last burgundy ray faded to black, I resolved myself to bring Brad to Louisiana. And making sure it was going to be a one way trip. Witchcraft, of course, was a tool of last resort, but I kept my options open.

Chapter Five
    Spinning the Moral Compass
    “Try again. This sound, heh…heh.”
    The Sasquatch seated across from me rolled his eyes. I arched my eyebrows and mouthed the sounds to encourage him. In a few seconds he grunted out short sounds. “Ha! Ha! Heh, heh.”
    I’ve made a few observations on the North American Sasquatch, or Bigfoot, ever since the first of several pairs came to the plantation. They’re big. By that I mean it’s not just their eight foot height, it’s their quite rotund body shape. They also smell pretty bad, but if given the chance to clean up, they really enjoy it. Once a week we sneak a few of them down to the self-service car wash on the edge of town. Under the cover of darkness of course. It’s a real hoot to watch them carrying on. If you ever get a chance to experience the joy of Sasquatch bathing, I recommend wearing a complete ensemble of raingear. Sadly, their long shaggy fur only comes in one color. Cinnamon. They are also smarter than they look, precisely why I began speech lessons.
    “Good! Now, one more time. Heh, hell, oh. Hello. Go on, Wills, say hello.”
    Wills found his voice and it was loud. The kind of loud that makes your ribcage vibrate. “Hah! Hah! Oh! Oh!” His huge feet hit the floorboards in celebratory stomps. The thunderous sound resonated through the floorboards. I winced with every WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP. My reaction seemed to spur Wills on. He stomped harder and shouted his attempted lesson in greetings. “Hell no! Hell no!” Little pieces of plaster fell from the ceiling like volcanic ash. My stainless steel hanging pot-rack, laden with copper cookware, spun in a wobbly orbit above the kitchen island. The thing became a nightmarish disco ball that produced a sound like Hell’s