Finding The Way Back To Love (Lakeside Porches 3) Read Online Free PDF Page A

raised an eyebrow. “Let’s brainstorm it, Gwen. Because I guarantee you, if it hasn’t occurred to Haley before this, it will while she’s in your care. So, answer your own question.”
    “Professionally, I think it’s a terrible idea.” Gwen walked on, faster than before.
    “Slow down. I’m forty-four, not thirty-two. Why is it a terrible idea?”
    “Because whose baby is it? Let’s say Haley finishes college and finds a nice man. Wouldn’t she want her baby with her? Without a commitment to adoption, she’s not likely to let go, now or later, is she? If she and Rick marry each other eventually, they would want their baby with them. But would I want to let it go after a few years of cooing and creeping and learning to walk and talk? My heart would break, Deirdre. And even if I could find it in me to do that, what kind of family dynamic does that create?”
    “Agreed. But flip it around. You want a baby. Here’s a very special one about to be born, and you’ll probably be present at the birth. It will be hard for Haley and, I think, for you, too, to give it up. Raising the baby yourself means you get a child you’re already in love with. No labor pain. Plus no more messy dating, no interfering husband who’s going to leave his underwear on the floor or die on you.”
    Gwen swallowed hard. Leave it to Deirdre to tack on the one detail that would open up old wounds. She gave her a jab in return. “Vince leaving his underwear around the house again?”
    “Nonsense.” Deirdre put her arm around Gwen’s shoulders and gave a squeeze. “But you see what I mean, don’t you?”
    Gwen slowed her steps and checked the time. “Let’s turn back. Yes, I do see. I’m a respectable widow of childbearing age. No one’s going to bat an eye about my raising Haley’s baby or even adopting it. But the emotional fallout? Come on, Deirdre. I’d be insane to take that on.”
    “And frankly, I agree. You came from a loving, two-parent family, where you saw commitment and intimacy. You were raised in a stable, stimulating home environment. I think, deep inside, you want that for yourself and your husband and kids. Taking responsibility for a baby right now would seriously complicate your search for a life partner. Or maybe I’m wrong. Did you and Jeb not want kids?”
    “We did want kids, but we were too busy building our careers.” She squinted. Is that really true ? She waved a hand to banish her sudden confusion about the past and simply repeated the well-honed story she’d given to people after Jeb’s death. “It was always, ‘Maybe next year.’ And then the years were up for us.”
    Deirdre frowned at the lack of emotion or conviction in Gwen’s tone, but she didn’t stop to question it. “Here’s my perspective, as a fellow psychologist and as your friend and sponsor. Haley’s arrival jolted you into realizing how much you want a family of your own. I think your head is on a little straighter now than it has been the past few months. Keep it that way.”
    “Thank you. I will, with a lot of help from my sponsor.” She squeezed Deirdre’s waist.
    “And just in case you had any doubt about where I stand, for you to take responsibility for an unplanned pregnancy—when it’s not even your baby—is the wrong thing, for all the reasons we’ve said.”
    “So my job with Haley is to keep her moving forward with obstetrical care and with the adoption options.” She stopped. “She does have options, doesn’t she?”
    Peter Shaughnessy’s presence in Gwen’s kitchen transformed it from gray to full color. Haley’s faded-pink sweatshirt next to Peter’s unzipped, Syracuse-orange hoodie picked up hues in the paisley placemats.
    Gwen watched Peter work through his omelet with an occasional comment for her or smile for Haley. He wasn’t methodical about it, the way she would be. He took a few bites from the center—loaded with asparagus, spinach, mushrooms and cheese—then a couple bites from one