Secret Sacrament Read Online Free PDF Page A

torches spat and sizzled in the stale air, and somewhere a rat squeaked. Outside, in another world, birds sang, and the children shrieked with laughter among the tombs. At last Gabriel lifted his head. “Good-bye, Father,” he said, and abruptly bent down and drew the pale cloth over the stern face. Breaking into the shocked silence, the priest said a last prayer, then Lena gathered the youngest children about her and led them out into the sun. Gabriel followed, feeling severed from them, and shamed. As they went up into the sunlight, blinking in the sudden glare, the darkness behind them boomed as the stone lid was dropped onto the sarcophagus. With all of his being Gabriel longed to run back, to say all the things to his father he had never said; but too many people pressed frombehind, and going back was impossible.
    His brother Myron, a year younger, came and walked beside him. They did not speak, but Myron walked so close their shoulders touched, and he made the secret sign they had used when they were small, to encourage one another when they were in trouble: he made a fist with his right hand, the little finger and thumb extended like the horns of a defiant bull.
    Gabriel saw the sign, and his eyes met Myron’s for a moment. But even Myron’s brotherly support could not wipe away the scandalous silence where a son’s homage should have been, or the sound of the uncles’ boots heavy on the stones behind him.
    In the house he expected the reproaches to begin the moment he got in the door. But no one spoke to him. They all went into the spacious dining room, and slaves handed out goblets of cooled wine and tiny fruit pastries. People talked in subdued tones about the heat, and there was some discussion on the rising prices of fresh fruit and vegetables, and whether or not the Shinali would sell some of their land so more market gardens could be developed. Then one of the aunts said how wonderful all the funeral orations had been, and there was an onerous silence. Feeling as if all eyes were on him, Gabriel went and stood by the open door to the courtyard and looked out.Behind him the talk resumed, and there was polite laughter at something one of the uncles said. It seemed an age he stood there, wanting to flee. Then one of his aunts called to him. He went over, trying to look nonchalant.
    â€œGabriel,” she said, her fingers fluttering toward the low table with its bottles of wine and empty goblets, “it really is time the slaves started serving the funeral feast, and your mother’s not here. I don’t know where she is. Would you go and find her, dear? Some of us have a long way to travel back. If we don’t eat soon, we’ll miss out. This really is turning out to be a very disorganized day, isn’t it? Not at all your conventional funeral.”
    â€œI’m sorry; we don’t get much practice at funerals,” Gabriel replied. The aunt looked perturbed, and he hurried out to look for Lena.
    It was cool in the entrance hall, for the slaves had left the front doors wide open, and a breeze swept across the polished stone floors and up the long stairs. Perhaps Lena had gone to her room for a moment’s quiet. As he passed his father’s office on the way to the stairs, he heard voices and stopped. The office door was not quite closed, and he could clearly hear his mother.
    â€œI won’t agree to it, Egan,” she was saying, her voice raised in anger. “I’ve just lost my husband; I’m not going to lose my eldest son as well.”
    Gabriel halted just outside the door, his breath caught in his throat.
    â€œYou won’t be losing him,” said Egan, quietly, reasonably. “You can visit him whenever you like. It’s the only way, Lena. The boy’s spoiled. If you don’t do this for him, he’ll never amount to anything. He’s already made a total disgrace of himself.”
    â€œNo, he hasn’t! He didn’t