Finding Purgatory Read Online Free PDF

the thing to some wishy-washy stranger. I can’t do what you did.”
    Ani sucked in a sharp breath, stung as though she’d been slapped. For a moment, her vision swam, stuck between defensive anger and crushing guilt. When she had a chance to breathe, she tried again. “Victoria, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you before. If I had it to do over . . .” There wasn’t much she could say about the past. “But I’m here now. You obviously aren’t sanguine about—”
    “Sanguine,” Tori repeated, her tone exasperated.
    “It obviously doesn’t sit well with you, what you’re about to do here,” Ani reworded. “Please don’t get me wrong. I have no personal problem with abortion. It’s not about that. But you shouldn’t do it just because you feel you have no other choice. Talk to me. Let me help you, and if you still think this is the best option, we’ll take care of it.”
    Ani waited for Tori to snap. The girl had angled her body away from her, but she was silent.
    “If you can’t talk to me, then you should talk to someone. This is too much for anyone to carry on their own,” Ani said, taking the chance to speak while her sister wasn’t yelling.
    “There’s no one.” The words were so quiet and defeated, it broke Ani’s heart.
    “The father?”
    “No!”
    For long minutes, the only sound in the car was their shared breaths and Tori’s occasional sniffle.
    It was all Ani could do to hold her tongue. She saw a chance to set right what had probably been her biggest mistake. If only Tori let her in, calmed just enough to see that she was genuine in her wish to help, maybe things could be okay. She could sense that her sister was on some sort of precipice, and if she fell over the edge, any potential for a relationship between them would be destroyed forever. Ani grasped for words that would draw Tori toward her, but she feared anything she said would push her away instead.
    So she waited, trying not to show that she was going out of her skin with anxiety.
    After an age, Tori drew in a deep, shuddering breath and put her hands over her eyes to cover fresh tears.
    “Okay,” she said, the word so soft that Ani thought for a moment she might have imagined it.
    Before Tori could change her mind, Ani started the car again and drove away from the clinic.
     

Chapter 4: The First Day of the Rest of Your Life
     
    “W hat are you doing, V?”
    Tori froze, feeling like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Or to be more accurate, with her hand in her dresser drawer.
    She sighed. For the last two weeks, she’d been dreading this conversation. “I’m packing, B.”
    “Well, yeah, I got eyes, but why?” She sat cross legged on Tori’s bed, looking perplexed.
    “Okay.” Tori sat across from the younger girl. “I need you to not freak out on me, Brook.”
    Instantly, the younger girl shrank back. “That’s the best way to make sure someone freaks out. Jeez.”
    “I mean it,” Tori said, putting her hands on her shoulders. “I’m like this close to losing it myself, and I can’t deal with it tonight. I just can’t.”
    Tori knew she was doing the worst possible job of keeping the younger girl calm, but she couldn’t help it. These last two weeks, after her failed attempt to get an abortion, she’d been a total wreck. She’d been holding it together, barely, but the thought of having to mitigate the younger girl’s imminent panic attack pushed her over the edge. Her voice wavered and cracked as she spoke, and she couldn’t hold back the stupid tears that suddenly welled in her eyes and spilled over. God, she was so sick of crying.
    To her surprise, Brook hurried to her side and wrapped her in a big hug. “Okay. I’m not going to be upset if you promise not to be upset. I really suck at making people feel better.”
    Tori’s answering laugh was thin and shaky. “You’re not as bad as you think.” Her heart twisted. Confessing to Brook was more difficult than Tori