Finding Home Read Online Free PDF

to feel lonely and sad. Our crap is being packed into boxes, and we have piles set aside for donation. My leap into adulthood includes me renting my very own apartment, all by myself. It feels strange to think of living all alone, but it’s time to break out.
    Walking over to the freezer, I open it and smile. It’s always stocked with our favorite ice creams. Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chunk is calling my name so I grab the pint and a spoon and pull off the top. My somber mood requires immediate medicating with the yummy goodness.
    Last night, Jenny crafted plans for me to visit her over Christmas break. California at Christmas time sounds like heaven. Spending a holiday away from my family drama is fine by me. Plus I get to see where she grew up. The Fosters own Moon Dance Winery in Napa Valley. In all of the years I’ve known Jenny, I’ve have never been to visit. However, I do get to enjoy the delicious wine she brings back for us to drink on our movie nights—always paired with savory dark chocolate.
    The one time we actually had a trip organized, it got cancelled because of Beth’s death. Even though it was spring break, the timing was too much for her family. I understood completely, and since then we could never get our schedules in sync to plan another visit.
    My attempt to self-medicate via sugar is futile. Things change, and there isn’t much I can do to stop it. Digging my spoon in deeper to find the chunkiest part, I try to stay positive and look on the bright side. I have a job that I love, and I’m going to have my own apartment in Boston. My life has a new path to follow.
    While taking the last bite, and not caring that I ate the whole pint, I hear the familiar ring of my phone. Frantically, I search for where the sound is coming from. Answering without sounding too irritated, my school principal identifies himself, and immediately my gut tells me he’s not calling for a friendly chat. The nausea that rolls in doesn’t help with the chocolate chunk sitting in my stomach.
     

     
    At the first sign of an impending disaster, I break out my supplies—chocolate, wine, favorite flicks—and get lost in the peace they bring me. When you see all of them in front of me, you know the situation is dire. While I’m sipping on red wine, Jenny walks in and quickly takes stock of the situation. I can tell by the look on her face that she knows I’m in bad shape. She walks over to the kitchen and grabs a spoon and glass then sits next to me on the couch. When her hand touches the remote to pause the movie, the guttural growl that comes out is something out of the show, When Animals Attack .
    “Okay, girl, spill it now. I know it’s bad when you’ve broken out all the comforts … and you’re watching Say Anything .” Her hand touches mine, forcing me to look at her. “What gives, Sam?”
    I try to speak, but nothing comes out. I barely manage lifting my hand to gesture that I need a minute. My favorite part is on so I press play to finish watching. John Cusack is holding the boom box over his head, Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” is serenading through his girl’s bedroom window. The love he feels for her is so beautifully expressed in that scene and there’s no dialogue. It’s in the song and in his face. He’s determined to make her his again and to love her. God, I love this movie. I can only dream of that kind of grand romantic gesture.
    My mind drifts off to the first time I saw this movie that has become my favorite. I was with my mom. My parents had been divorced for a while, and she had been in one of her rare caring moods. She planned a movie night and rented it. It’s one of the few nice memories I have of her. “Sam, you will know a man truly loves you when he’s willing to give up everything to be with you. When he wants to do whatever it takes to make you happy. When he gives you his heart completely—his heart for your heart.”
     
    With my favorite scene complete, I stop the