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that the bikini wax was $32. FML
    Today my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mailbox first and noticed that his Wii game had arrived. He sent me home so he could play. FML

    Today I found a note in my locker from a really hot guy, asking me to the prom. I went up to him and said how excited I was to go. He said, “Oh,
you
got the note?” He took it back and slipped it into the locker next to mine. FML
    Today I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend because I hadn’t seen them in months. They told me that that was a bad idea and they couldn’t fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn’t have any yet. FML
    Today my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex, so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he “couldn’t be with someone who is hiding something.” WTF? FML
    Today my boyfriend and I were in Victoria’s Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, “I wish I looked like that.” He sighed and replied, “Me too.” FML
    Today in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse’s office and asked, “Can I have some ice?” The nurse responded, “Oh no, what happened to your face?” FML
    Today I went for a run and took my shirt off partway through. The next person I saw was a nine-year-old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, “Ewwwwww! Gross!” FML
    Today my girlfriend and I were fooling around, and I was just about to reach orgasm when she looked at the clock and said, “I have to go.
Lost
is on in twenty minutes.” FML
    Today I went to the hair salon to cut six inches off my hair. When I got there, I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date, I asked whether he noticed anything different about me. The first thing he said was “I see you got rid of your mustache.” FML
    Today I came back from college and visited my parents’ house. There was a new portrait of my parents and two sisters hanging over the mantel. My mom had always wanted a family portrait, but she had always postponed having it done. The painting was dated the day after I had left for college. FML
    Today I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for three months and losing just over twenty pounds. My mom took one look at me and said, “You’d better keep going.” FML
    Today my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie, when he started kissing me. Things heated up, so we moved over to his bed. He was on me, when a hand shot down from the top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and wanted a high five. So they high-fived. FML
    Today I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While I was doing arm exercises, he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, “Oh, it’s just fat.” FML
    Today this guy I have been in love with for two years asked me into an empty classroom. He handed me a bouquet of flowers and a T-shirt on which he had silk-screened “Prom?” I said that it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. He asked if I thought that my best friend would like it. FML
    Today I got my car fixed from an accident, and I drove to a party in a bad thunderstorm. When the power went out, everyone decided to watch the storm from the front windows. Someone mentioned that it would be funny if the tree fell on my car with everyone watching. Twenty seconds later, it did. FML
    Today I passed by a small shop and decided to go in to look at the jeans. Before I could even step inside, the shop owner told me expressionlessly, “All the sizes here are too small for you.” FML
    Today, at a hard-rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a porta-potty while moshing. I was inside that porta-potty. FML
    Today I had sex