March. It never seems to occur to her that if it wasnât for him, she wouldnât have me. And if it wasnât for me, she wouldnât have a big fat child-support cheque every month either.
My mother has such a hate-fix on my father that I decided to stop seeing him until she cooled off. That was three years ago. But I blame my dad too. He could have made things better. If he cared. If he wanted to see me.
Raffi stood up and stretched. âSo the cops donât even know I exist?â he said. âThey donât know your mom is seeing anybody?â
âYou got it.â
âIâd be lying if I said I wasnât scared of them. Me and every other black guy in Toronto. I need the police sniffing around me like I need a hole in my head.â
Momâs voice was shaky. âDonât even joke about that,â she said. One of Raffiâs friends, who is also black, was recently shot at by the cops for no reason at all.
Raffi hardly ever got upset, so when he did, you really noticed. âDerek is still in the hospital,â he said. âFor nothing. For being in the wrong place at the wrong time.â
âHe shouldnât have run, though,â Mom said. âIâm not saying what the cops did was OK, but you have to remember, if they say halt, you halt.â
Mom really likes Raffi a lot. Heâs been her boyfriend since I was eleven, but he doesnât live with us. He has a tiny apartment across the street. So I didnât lie, not really.
CHAPTER 4
It was Saturday morning, the second day after the murder, and I was just about awake when Kelly phoned. âWhere were you?â I asked. âI looked all over the school for you!â
âI messed up,â she said. âIâll tell you later. Can I come over?â
âNow? Sure. Just donât panic when you see the yellow crimescene tape. Ray Bird was murdered yesterday.â
âJeez, Jess, thatâs, thatâs ...awful. The big guy married to that airhead with the hair?â
âYeah. Well, Tammi is a bit of an airhead, I guess, but I feel sorry for her.â I yawned. âAre you coming right now?â
âCan I?â she whispered into the phone. âThe Pain is watching TV. If I donât get out of here while sheâs distracted, Iâm going to have her trailing after me all day.â
The Pain is Kellyâs little sister. âCome now,â I said. âPlease.â
Kelly weighs almost as much as I do, but sheâs a little taller, a natural blonde, and absolutely beautiful. Weâve been best friends since kindergarten. Lately though, since sheâs been going out with Joey, Iâve been feeling kind of pushed away. Once I tried to talk to her about it, but all she said was that having a boyfriend changed her life, and I couldnât understand until I had one too. Sometimes I wish she wasnât so pretty, but I guess thatâs mean.
After I got dressed, I watched for her from the front window. When I saw her trudging around the corner I raced downstairs and held the door open, so she wouldnât push the buzzer. âThe Countess is still asleep,â I said.
When we got back upstairs, Mom was standing at the door, making a liar out of me. âI am not,â she said. âAlthough I might be if some dummy hadnât phoned at the crack of dawn.â
âOh-oh,â Kelly said. âThat was no dummy, that was me I waited âtill nine-fifteen...â
âNot to worry,â Mom said. âItâs time I was up anyway. Have you had breakfast? Jess might make French toast if we ask her nicely.â She leaned her head on my shoulder. âPlease, Jess, please.â This was exactly what I used to do to her.
Please, Mom, please
, Iâd whine. It was one of those things that used to work.
âSounds great,â Kelly said. âIâll help.â
Mom wandered back down the hall. âSave me some,â
Jessica Conant-Park, Susan Conant