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teeth and let her go.  But she lay there unmoving. 
    Unconscious. 
    I could hear her heart beating, slowly, steadily, but I was not leaving her in a healthy state.  She was so not OK.  Then it hit me.  My blood lust disappeared, just like that. I had drank so much, I’d feasted.  I’d gone bloody crazy.  I’d killed and I’d harmed. 
    Self-loathing welled up from my stomach, bubbling unpleasantly around my heart, and I screamed, with all the voice and power I had.  I screamed, a high pitched wail, which echoed around the surrounding streets.
    And then I ran.
     
     

Chapter 4
     
     
     
     
    I ran back to my flat and packed a bag.  I knew food would be useless, but I packed a blanket, coat, spare clothes, towel, some photos of my family and friends, and a few girly bits and bobs.  I didn’t look at Rachel’s body – I couldn’t face it.
    And I ran, ran from my home, ran from my city, and soon I was out of there, out of the city and out on the roads, alone, and eventually I was in the woods.  My former life over.  My new life just beginning.
    I collapsed back against a wide trunked tree.  I felt numb, in shock.  I knew that I had done terrible, terrible things, things I could never take back.  I could not apologise and go home.  I couldn’t give those people back their lives, and their families back their loved ones I had taken from them.  My life had ruined theirs.
    Luca had done this to me. 
    Luca. 
    I should have hated him, I knew this.  This was his fault.  But my heart longed for him.  Called out for him.  These men I’d met tonight, the men I’d been physical with, they hadn’t brought back the feelings I’d experienced with Luca, not even close.  I wanted to see Luca again, but I had no idea how to find him, or even where to start.  Instead I sat there feeling hollow. 
    Empty. 
    Mute. 
    Destroyed.
    The night time sounds passed me by.  I wasn’t aware of my surroundings, I was consumed by my inner turmoil.  I didn’t emerge from this state until the sun started to rise and I began to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. 
    Agitated. 
    I knew I needed to find somewhere dark to spend the day. 
    Fast. 
    My survival instincts kicked in, I guess, and I found a fresh spring of energy and got to my feet, hauling my rucksack onto my back.  After my performance the previous night, I knew I was capable of faster movement, but I just didn’t feel like moving, so I trudged through bushes, off path, deeper into the forest. 
    My smell sense had definitely improved, although I wasn’t in the mood to delight in this. I smelled the distant scent of pine, and I headed in that direction, and fortunately I got lucky.  I found as much shelter as I could hope for before the sun came over the horizon.  A densely packed pine forest.  Under the boughs it was spookily dark – perfect.  I snuck in deeper, walking on compacted earth littered with dead pine needles, until I thought I was deep enough not to be found, and then I tossed my belongings on the floor and used my rucksack as a pillow, and I didn’t wake until dark. 
    Immediately I felt thirsty, and with this my heart started thumping in my chest.  What was I supposed to do?  After last night, when I’d been ravaged by hunger, and I’d lost myself to it, I knew this meant I was in a dangerous situation.  I couldn’t do that again.  Could I?  I imagined myself living in the shadows, feeding off people who strayed from the crowds. 
    Shit no. 
    I would not return to the city.
    I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself.  I heard an owl hooting and small animals scurrying.  In fact the forest was alive with sound.  I took another deep breath – and the smell – much more vivid than before this happened.  I could smell the trees and the earth and the animals. 
    Thud thud, thud thud, thud thud. 
    I could hear lots of pulses. 
    My own pulse quickened.  Could I?  I rose to my feet and opened myself up to my