Drawn to a Vampire Read Online Free PDF

surroundings.  If I could do this … if I could live like this.… 
    I heard the nearest pulse and zeroed in – like an owl choosing its prey, and then I soared, soared over the earth, and I dived, and I had a mouse in my hand.  It struggled and wriggled and I heard its pulse go through the roof.  I held it tightly, hesitating.  This didn’t exactly have the same seductive, compelling thing going for it.  It was not sexy.  It was kind of weird.  But it was a lifeline. 
    I brought the mouse to my lips and bit, my fangs sliding through the grey fur, sinking into the body – and I drank – and in one gulp the mouse was dead.  It wasn’t revolting exactly.  Its blood still tasted rich and metallic and full of life – it just wasn’t enough.  I needed something bigger.
    I opened myself up again.  It felt like I was expanding beyond my body – sensing the world around me.  I heard a heavier thudding further away than before.  I raced forwards, leaping through the woods, ducking low, avoiding branches, swinging around trees, my feet light.  A predator.  I moved with barely a sound.  And my eyesight.  I could see in the dark, but it was different from before – the leaves, the ground, the animals – their colours were more vivid.  Beautiful.  It wasn’t like seeing in the daytime, I still couldn’t see far, but within a few feet I felt I had the vision of an owl – sharp and focused – and the hearing of a bat.  It zeroed in on that heartbeat, and I was out of the pine forest and into old woodland in a second. 
    I paused.  Before me a badger looked up, startled.  Its pointy nose sniffed at the air, its eyes shone like black beads, and the back of its fur had so much depth of colour, purples and blues.  I took a step towards it and it turned from me, sticking its nose under low bushes, searching for insects or something.  There I was, the most powerful of predators – and my prey was not even scared.  It wasn’t a hunt – it was a buffet.  And I was ravenous. 
    My teeth tingled and I leaped down, pushing the weight of my body onto the badgers back and holding its head still with one hand.  The badger was strong, but it barely fought me.  With my spare hand I pushed its fur apart at the neck and leaned forwards, then I sank my pointed teeth through its skin and drank its rich blood. 
    Now that was more satisfying, more of a substitute for human blood.  But it still was not enough.  When the badger became limp beneath me I hunted again.  And again.  And again.  Until my appetite was satiated.
    The final animal I managed to leave alive.  I discovered that the more satiated I was the easier it was to stop.  I decided if I was going to survive this, and learn not to kill, I’d have to keep myself well fed.  I could not skimp on meals.  I hated that I’d killed those animals – on top of the human lives I’d taken – and I wanted to at least minimise my kill count. And I wanted to kill no more humans. 
    Ever again. 
    I could not lose control like I had last night. 
    Suddenly it all came rushing back.  Rachel.  Rachel dead. 
    Poor Rachel. 
    And the other people.  Those people who were no longer breathing.  No longer a part of this world.  My blood started to boil and my heart pounded.  I felt like hitting something.  Screaming. 
    And, ‘WTF?’ I thought.  I was alone out there, crazed and alone. 
    So I went wild.  I smashed my body against the nearest tree trunk, over and over again, until I was cut and bleeding, and I screamed.  I screamed as loud as my throat and lungs would allow.  I screamed and screamed, and cursed and yelled. 
    And I cried.
    Eventually I became worn out with all the violence, and I slumped against the damaged tree.  I felt guilty for hurting the damn tree.  Just to add to the huge dark well of grief and guilt already inside me.  I laughed darkly.  Quite the pickle I was in.  Was this how I was going to spend the rest of my days?