Double Fudge Read Online Free PDF

Richie said, sporting a milk moustache. "She's a designer. You can get clothes with her name on it. She's very famous. So's my father. He builds office buildings. And my grandma's filthy rich."
    "You mean from counting her money?" Fudge asked.
    "I don't know," Richie said. "Maybe."
    "She should take her money to the bank to get it washed," Fudge told him.
    "That's a good idea." Richie bit into a carrot with his back teeth.
    "I have a lot of good ideas," Fudge said. "I know," Richie said. "That's why I want to be your friend."
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    The next day Richie Richest was back. "So, where's the toy room?"
    "What toy room?" Fudge asked.
    "You know," Richie said, "the room where you keep all your toys."
    "I keep my toys in my room."
    "That's it? That's all the toys you have?"
    "He has more than he needs," Mom told Richie. She was getting Tootsie up from her nap.
    Richie shook his head. "I can have any toy I want whenever I want it."
    "Even Lego Panorama?" Fudge asked.
    Richie shrugged. "Whatever."
    "Did you hear that?" Fudge said. "He can have any toy he wants whenever he wants it."
    "Yes," Mom said and she took a deep breath. "I certainly did hear that."
    "But I'm not spoiled," Richie said. "There's a difference between having everything you want and being spoiled."
    "Is there, Mom?" Fudge asked.
    "I suppose it's possible," Mom said.
    "We have a house at the beach," Richie announced. "Do you?"
    "No, we don't," Mom said.
    "Our house is on the ocean side but we keep our boat in the bay. I have two half-brothers who are
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    also rich and famous. You've probably heard of them. Jeffrey and Colin Potter. They make movies."
    "Pete," Fudge said, "if I cut you in half then I'd have a half-brother! And Tootsie could have the other half."
    "That's not exactly what a half-brother is," I told him.
    "Jeffrey and Colin are from my father's first marriage," Richie told Fudge. "After his divorce he married my mother and they had me. My mother is twenty years younger than my father. She says I'm very smart. And extremely handsome. Do you think I'm handsome?"
    The kid was on a roll. There was no stopping him now.
    "Why, yes," Mom said, "you and Fudge are both handsome."
    "Which of us is more handsome?" Richie asked.
    "I wouldn't want to have to choose," Mom said.
    "What is this, a beauty contest?" I asked.
    That got Fudge and Richie laughing so hard Richie had to dig out his inhaler and take a couple of puffs.
    That night at dinner Mom told Dad, "Fudge has an interesting new friend."
    "Interesting friends are better than boring ones," Dad said.
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    We were having pasta primavera. That's spaghetti with a bunch of vegetables on top. I asked Mom if I could have my pasta with just plain tomato sauce but Mom said, "Vegetables are very important."
    "Richie Potter likes broccoli," Fudge said.
    "We know," I told him.
    "It makes his pee smell funny."
    "Fudge," Mom said, "we don't talk about what we do in the bathroom at mealtimes."
    "Why not?" Fudge asked.
    "Anyway, it's asparagus that makes pee smell funny," I told him, "not broccoli."
    "Peter ..." Dad warned.
    "Broccoli, too," Fudge said. "I know because he let me smell it."
    "That's enough, boys," Dad said, which got Tootsie going.
    "Eeee... eee ... eee..." she shrieked.
    "Fudge's new friend brags about everything," I said.
    "He even brags about his poops," Fudge told us.
    "I'm not surprised," I said.
    "But, Pete ... if you saw what he made you'd understand. It was thiiiiis long." Fudge held out his hands showing me exactly how long.
    "That's it!" Mom said. "I don't want to hear another inappropriate word at this meal."
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    5 Bye-Bye, Sue !
    Jimmy asked me to come down to see his new place. I convinced Dad to take me on Saturday afternoon. The downside was, we had to bring Fudge and Tootsie with us because Mom was at work. She says her new job with Dr. Julie is the best she's ever had.
    As soon as we were through the turnstile at the subway station, a train came along. We got lucky and found seats together.