Collected Plays and Teleplays (Irish Literature) Read Online Free PDF Page A

Catholic youth to partake of the benefits of University education, he read a distinguished course and gave every satisfaction to his masters. In the field of athletics he gave no mean account of himself, being to this day the possessor of a silver-cup for the long jump. A member of the Gaelic League for ten years, he speaks the old tongue with a fluency that many a person twice his age might well envy. As straight as a rod in character, honest as the sun, courteous in all his dealing with his fellow men, I think he is the most suitable person we could hope for. I therefore propose formally that he be appointed by the Council. I think we are lucky and privileged to have him.
    REILLY: ( Who has half-turned from the window to listen to this address with exaggerated signs of astonishment. ) I wonder who this fellow is when he’s at home. Begob, there’s wonderful people living in this town that I never met. He has the Irish, too, wha—? Taw shay mahogany! Kaykee will too!
    ( SHAWN , who has been listening intently at the phone suddenly bursts into a roar of rough laughing, which subsides into long gurgles with ‘I do, I do’ discernible here and there. )
    CULLEN: Who is this, Mr. Chairman? His name?
    KELLY: O, I beg your pardon. The gentleman’s name is ( he hesitates and stammers in confusion ) . . . Strange—Mr. Strange.
    SHAWN: ( On the phone. ) I do, I do, sure I could go down there any day on me bicycle, I could meet you in Biddie Brannigan’s and have a glass of good Irish whiskey with you, what grander, finer thing could we do?
    ( REILLY , who has left the window, walks right through the room and comes to rest facing down at the Chairman with his back three-quarters to the audience. )
    KELLY: Mr. Hoop, perhaps you would second my proposition. Perhaps you would be good enough.
    HOOP: ( Looking up from his book. ) Aye, surely.
    TOWN CLERK: ( Reading what he is writing. ) Seconded by Councillor Joseph Hoop.
    REILLY: ( Still glaring down, speaking in a hard, subdued voice as if genuinely shocked. ) I have seen many queer dirty jobs done in this room in me time but my God Almighty, I never thought I’d live to see this. Some fly-be-night that was never seen or heard of in this town, as sure as God a relation of the Chairman’s or of that fancy widow Crockett that he’s running after. WHO IS HE? Where is he from? Is he going to be wheeled in onto the ratepayers’ backs just because he’s related to the Chairman’s fancy woman?
    KELLY: ( Angrily, rising to his feet. ) That’s enough of that talk! I’ll thank you to keep Mrs. Crockett’s name off your bad discourteous tongue.
    REILLY: ( Excitedly. ) Is that why? Eh! My God Almighty! ( He rounds on the others. ) Are yez going to stand for that? Eh!
    KELLY: This man is intoxicated!
    TOWN CLERK: He is a little bit inebriated with his own verbosity, if I may so remark.
    CULLEN: Martin, you’re going too far. I always support the Chairman. He has never nominated a bad man yet. In any case the Minister will only sanction a man that is A1. I think we might give this man a trial. I don’t know him personally.
    REILLY: ( In a low voice. ) Tom, Tom, I’m ashamed of you. This man really wants to get his own or this widow’s relations in by the back door—( he points ) look at that face of him, did you ever see shame plainly written on a man’s face so plain!
    KELLY: May God forgive you, you ignorant and slanderous traducer of people who never hurt you.
    SHAWN: ( On phone. ) He married a grand big heifer of a woman. I do, I do.
    REILLY: ( Exploding. ) Because I’m not going to stand for it. I’m not going to stay here in the same room with such criminality. ( He makes a mad rush for the coat-stand, grabs his hat, rushes to the door, wheels round and shouts a final denunciation: ) We’ll see, we’ll see, whether you’ll drive a coach and four through the Public Bodies Order. We’ll see whether the Public Bodies Order is just a bit of paper! Wait and see, wait and