Collected Plays and Teleplays (Irish Literature) Read Online Free PDF

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    ( He slams the door and is gone. There is complete silence. KELLY mops his brow. )
    SHAWN: ( On phone, very softly. ) I do, I do, I do.
    TOWN CLERK: De proposal is passed, subject to de Minister’s sanction. Begob, that’s what you’d call a man that’s very violent in himself, God be good to him.
    KELLY: ( Philosophically. ) This much I will say. As a younger man I was myself inclined to be a bit . . . contumacious. A bit . . . contumelious. Later I came to a realisation of the golden virtue of temperance. I do not refer to the subject of intoxicating drink. My allusion is rather to temperance of hand, act and tongue. For, after all, what is a gentleman but one who has his temper under perfect control? The exhibition we have witnessed is saddening. It was all very . . . very . . . sad. Let no man say, however, that I pass judgement. Nothing of the kind. Mr. Reilly is a man for whom I have the highest regard. He has many golden qualities. He has his failings, too, one of them he displayed tonight. Gentlemen, I am very sorry.
    ( The door is thrown open, interrupting the Chairman’s address. REILLY rushes in bare-headed with a hat in his hand. He hurries to the stand, puts the hat on it, takes another one off it and jams it on his head. Then he rushes out again and slams the door, without a glance at the table. )
    KELLY: More I will not say. Let us now pass from that and return to what is public rather than personal. Town Clerk, what is the next item?
    TOWN CLERK: ( Jauntily slapping his book closed. ) The next item, Mr. Chairman, is a smoke. The meeting is finnee.
    CULLEN: Ah, good.
    ( There is a general relaxation. SHAWN is muttering a few soft ‘I do’s’ on the phone. JOE HOOP stands up, marches to the door, turns and gives a loud thick smiling ‘Good night’ and is gone. CULLEN starts putting on his coat and hat briskly. )
    CULLEN: I’m so afraid we’ll have rain. My corns are telling me so.
    SHAWN: ( On phone, simultaneously with following conversation. ) Ah, yes. I do, I do. The little ferim. It is indeed. A rich . . . fertile . . . richly cultivated . . . grand . . . fine . . . delightful . . . little ferim. Ah, glory be to God, a grand . . . rich . . . fertile . . . glorious . . . well appointed . . . healthy . . . herbaceous . . . delightful ferim of land . . . yes.
    KELLY: ( Rising wearily. ) And small harm it would do us, Martin, the wheat is a bit backward.
    CULLEN: ( Going out. ) O, true enough. Good night.
    SEVERAL VOICES: Good night, now!
    SHAWN: ( On phone. ) Yes boy. I do, I do. Lovely, thick, nourishing grass, grand . . . green . . . fertile . . . sweet . . . lovely grass, sure I’ve eaten some of it myself, it’s food for man and baste, boy.
    KELLY: ( Producing his pipe and beginning to fill it. ) Town Clerk, we will have a word together in the morning about ( He numbers them on his fingers. )—the coal fund—the grant for Patrick Street—the scavenging contract. We must look into these things. We must take our coats off. Too many cooks here. You and I must get something done. We will feel fresher for tomorrow and please God we’ll put our shoulders to the wheel.
    TOWN CLERK: ( Absorbed in his papers. ) I’ll be here all day. Any time you like. ( He looks over his watch and is startled; he rushes over to SHAWN and nudges him urgently. ) Gob, look at this crow, Come on out o’ that man! It’s ten to ten! IT’S TEN TO TEN, MAN! See you later, Chairman! ( He grabs his hat and rushes out. KELLY thoughtfully strikes a match and begins to kindle his pipe. SHAWN stands up still holding the telephone. )
    SHAWN: ( Urgently. ) Well, goodbye, now, avic, I’m called away on hard . . . important . . . business. I’ll see you on Thursday, boy. Bye, bye, now.
    ( He slams down phone, grabs his hat and rushes out with a ‘Bye, bye, Chairman.’ KELLY grunts a reply. When they are all gone THE STRANGER comes down noiselessly and gives KELLY a great start by appearing suddenly at his elbow and