Call Me Lumpy: My Leave It to Beaver Days and Other Wild Hollywood Life Read Online Free PDF Page A

see these guys. They had seen my work. They said they were going to do this new show, "Leave It to Beaver."

 

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They said, "We've got the part of this little loudmouthed fat kid."
And I looked at them and I went, "Well you know that's me."
And I remember Bob Mosherhe was the quiet onehe looked at me and he sorta smiles and nods his head.
Joe Connelly says, "Let's hear you read a coupla lines." I read the lines. Joe Connelly had a smile that could light up the moon. He gives me this big Irish grin and he goes, "I think you'll do."
And I felt really good, because I knew I had the job. They told me about their new show, but I had seen it the week before. It had premiered on CBS, I believe, on a Thursday or Friday night. It was sponsored by the Remington-Rand typewriter company. Or Ralston Purina.
I remembered the kids on the show walking down the sidewalk, with hopscotch chalk drawn on it. And the words that were scrawled there said, "Leave It to Beaver." And I thought at the time, "Well, this is kind of a cute show."
They were doing the one-foot-on-the-curb thing. Beaver stuff.
I said, "This is a nice and pleasant show."
A week later, I'm over at the old Republic Studios shooting that show. They send me a script at the ripe price of 150 bucks a day. That was pretty much the going rate at the time.
I did my usual bad-guy routine in the episode.
I wouldn't let Beaver and Wally come home from school because they were crossing "my turf." And they had to walk around the block. They decided they were going to get even with me.
They set up these barrel hoops in my driveway and they start screaming, "Lumpy, Lumpy, dumb as an ox!" I was supposed to run out and these barrel hoops would fly up and hit me in the shins, you know, and all that stuff.
Only, when they start shouting, instead of me coming out, my father, Richard Deacon, comes out. Who happens to be working with their father, Hugh Beaumont, at the office. And that was Fred Rutherford and Ward Cleaver. They were buddies and social friends and all that.
Where Beaver and Wally got the idea for the barrel hoops was Ward telling an old story at the dinner table about the hoops. Well, the next time the Cleavers and the Rutherfords are playing bridge, Fred Rutherford starts talking about these "young hooligans" who came over and put these barrel hoops in his driveway.
Ward looked at June. June looked at Ward. The next thing you see is Ward talking to the boys, Wally and Beav.
"Boys, did you do this?" he says.
They fessed up. They went over and apologized.
Of course, being "Leave It to Beaver," bad doesn't triumph. I get my comeuppance by the end of the half hour.

 

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Well, I guess some magic happened. It was only supposed to be one episode, and one espisode only. But, remember, I always said I was in the right place at the right time my whole life.
This was the sixth episode of "Beaver." If I must say so myself, I was really good at the part. And you know what? I enjoyed it.
I went home and my dad asked me, "What was the name of the show you did today?"
"It's called 'Leave It to Beaver,'" I said. "You know what, I think it's going to be a really good show. These people are neat."
My dad goes, "Neat?"
I had never used the word before like that. But there were certain words that started to be associated with "Beaver." I had heard this word, "neat," a dozen times on the set that day. Wally. Beaver. Norman Tokar, the director. A couple of times it was in the script.
"Neat" and "neat-o" became part of the personality of "Leave It to Beaver."
I felt good using the word.
I felt even better about a week later. Usually I would get my paycheck on Wednesday in the mail. The day before my paycheck was to have arrived, I got a phone call from Gomalco Productionsnamed after Gobel and a guy named David P. O'Malley.
Was I available for another "Beaver" next week?
Is there hair on a gorilla?
Of course I was.
I was going to be a regular on the show.
My dad's reaction?
Not exactly