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buzzing."
    Blacksmith Tong laughed and proclaimed for the benefit of the passersby "Well, since you're just a kid, I'll treat you to a bowl of noodles to make up for it."
    Blacksmith Tong strutted toward the People's Restaurant, with Baldy Li closely following, hands behind his back. Baldy Li thought to himself that Chairman Mao was right when he said that there is no such thing as unmerited love or hatred. So if Blacksmith Tong suddenly wanted to treat him to a bowl of noodles, it must be because he wanted to find out about Lin Hong's butt. Baldy Li scurried forward and quietly asked him, "So you're treating me to a bowl of noodles to find out about buttocks. Right?"
    Tong laughed and nodded. "You're a smart kid."
    Baldy Li said, "But you already have some ass at home…"
    "You know how men are," Tong confided. "They're always peering into the pot even when they're eating out of the bowl."
    Tong walked into the People's Restaurant with the air of a big spender, but the moment he sat down he became a cheapskate and only bought Baldy Li a bowl of plain noodles. Baldy Li hmmphed to himself but didn't say anything. Once the bowl was on the table, he dove in with his chopsticks and slurped away until he was covered in sweat and his nose was running. Blacksmith Tong watched as Baldy Li's snot ran down to the edge of his lips and was sucked back up, again and again. After watching four rounds of this, Tong suddenly noticed that half the noodles had already disappeared, and he became impatient with Baldy Li's reticence. He said, "Hey, hey, don't just sit there and eat. Time to talk."
    Baldy Li stopped slurping, wiped away his sweat, looked about, and then started to speak in a low voice. He described not Lin Hong's bottom but, instead, a plump one. When Baldy Li was done, Blacksmith Tong looked at him suspiciously. "How come that sounds a lot like my wife's?"
    "It is your wife's butt," Baldy Li replied earnestly.
    Blacksmith Tong flew into a rage and raised his hand, bellowing, "I'm going to whup you good, you little bastard!"
    Baldy Li quickly leapt up to avoid Tongs huge palm. At that moment, everyone in the restaurant turned around to look at them, so Blacksmith Tong had to convert his whupping gesture into a wave. He pointed to Baldy Li and said, "Sit back down."
    Baldy Li smiled and nodded at the other patrons in the restaurant,calculating that as long as they were paying attention, Blacksmith Tong wouldn't dare beat him. He sat down again across from Blacksmith Tong, who glowered at him. "So come on, hurry up with Lin Hongs…"
    Baldy Li looked around and, seeing that everyone was still watching him, smiled in relief and continued in a low voice. "Every butt has its price. A bowl of plain noodles will buy you your own wife's butt, but Lin Hong's calls for a bowl of house-special noodles."
    Blacksmith Tong was so furious that for a long time he couldn't even muster up a response. Seeing Baldy Li nonchalantly returning to his noodles, Blacksmith Tong snatched the bowl out of his hands and spat out, "I'll eat them myself."
    Baldly Li turned around to look at the other patrons in the restaurant, who seemed perplexed by this transfer of noodles. Baldy Li smiled and explained, "It's like this: First he treated me to half a bowl of noodles, then I treated him back with the remaining half a bowl."
    From that point on, Baldy Li's asking price was public knowledge: one bowl of house-special noodles for the secrets of Lin Hong's butt. In the six months while Baldy Li's ears were still ringing, he was treated to fifty-six bowls of house-special noodles, systematically eating his way into his fifteenth year and gradually transforming his skinny, sallow body into a ruddy, plump one. He thought that being able to eat so many house-special noodles was truly a case of bad luck begetting good. At that point, Baldy Li had no idea of the vast fortune he would subsequently amass and no inkling that he would ultimately grow bored with even the most