Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half Read Online Free PDF Page A

usually pretty invigorating to a married couple’s sex drive. That spice of change and risk adds a certain element of adventure and even perception of danger to the act.
    I know that most women probably think dressing up in costumes or little frilly negligees with heels is somewhat silly. But remember that men are very visual creatures. After all, they’re not attracted to look at sexy photographs because their hearing is so acute. The imagination is the greatest aphrodisiac, so a little role playing with costumes can really spice things up every once in a while.
    Want to get his motor humming? Call him up at work and whisper naughty things to him. (Just make sure he’s not on a speakerphone.) Or sneak a risqué note in his lunch when he doesn’t expect it. He’ll probably be home early from work on those days, so you better have the kids over at a neighbor’s that afternoon.
    God certainly recognizes the importance sex plays in a marriage relationship. This verse spells it out pretty plainly:
     
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
    1 Corinthians 7:3-5
     
     
    This passage speaks frankly to the fact that married couples should have normal, healthy sexual relations—that depriving either partner of their natural rights in this area may be conducive to temptation or sexual immorality. Both husband and wife have conjugal privileges and exclusive possession of the other in this area. The biggest challenge for most men is to not say or do something stupid to make the wife mad after she reveals she will be “in the mood” that night.
    When a woman looks at sex from her husband’s perspective and recognizes its importance to him, she can begin to use it as a tool to better their relationship.

His Needs
     
    While sex is a powerful physical need for a man, it is much more than that. Sex also fulfills a powerful emotional need. Author Shaunti Feldhahn says, “Lack of sex is as emotionally serious to him as, say, his sudden silence would be to you, were he simply to stop communicating with you. It is just as wounding to him, just as much a legitimate grievance—and just as dangerous to your marriage.” 6
    Sex for a man really is not optional, as many women believe. Feldhahn continues, “In a very deep way, your man often feels isolated and burdened by secret feelings of inadequacy. Making love with you assures him that you find him desirable, salves a deep sense of loneliness, and gives him the strength and well-being necessary to face the world with confidence. And, of course, sex also makes him feel loved—in fact, he can’t feel completely loved without it.” 7
    While men psychologically, emotionally, and physically need regular sex, it is important to remember that a man would rather have less sex with a willing partner than more sex with a woman who considers it a “duty.” So, if you as the wife have the attitude of, “Okay, let’s get it over with,” he might not turn it down, but it will not be very satisfying to him. When you desire him physically, you have the power to salve many of the wounds this world inflicts upon him. A man who is desired by his wife meets the world with confidence and enthusiasm. One of a man’s most basic needs is to feel wanted physically by a woman. When a man feels that his wife desires him, it gives him a big boost of self-confidence.
    Your husband needs you physically in order to feel loved as much as you need to be cherished and desired in order to feel loved. A woman who understands that this area of her marriage is not just a physical need for