Tags:
Religión,
General,
Family & Relationships,
Spirituality,
Christian Theology,
Abuse,
Child Abuse,
Christian Life,
Spiritual Growth,
Religious Life,
Christian Life - General,
Adult child sexual abuse victims,
Meyer; Joyce,
Adult child sexual abuse victims - Religious life
trying to get rid of. I worked hard at trying to behave correctly. Yet it seemed that no matter what kind of bad behaviors I tried to get rid of, two or three others popped up somewhere else. It was like trying to get rid of dandelion weeds. I kept pulling off the visible part, but I was not getting to the hidden root of the problem. The root was alive and kept producing a new crop of problems.
As the following illustrations reveal, rotten roots yield rotten fruit, but good fruit comes from good roots.
27
Controlling Anger-HostilityLack of Self-Confidence
Get Good Feelings From "Addictions"
Judgmental
Low Self-Esteem \ \ |( // Chip on the
Shoulder
Negativism __^[\S/Hatred
Depression
Confusion and Inner Turmoil
PRETEND ME
Sex, Food, Money,
Power, Drugs, Alcohol, Activity
"If I Can't Get Good
Feelings From Within Me, I'll
Try To Get Them From the
Outside"
'The Real Me Isn't Acceptable"
Feelings Get "Stuffed"
Because It's Too Painful
To Face Them
Shame
"Something's Wrong With Me"Improper "Mirroring" &
"Imaging" From Parents
28
Get Good Feelings From Living a Life of "Self-Control""I Am Made Acceptable in the Beloved" Ephesians 1:6
RELAXED
Because Acceptance Isn't
Based on Performance
EMOTIONS
AREN'T "STUFFED"
ROOTED & GROUNDED IN CHRIST'S LOVE
Valuable _
'Acceptance
.Unique
No GuiltSpecial
29
As an illustration, the Lord gave me this example. Have you ever noticed a foul odor when you opened the refrigerator door? You immediately knew that there was something spoiled in there, but in order to find out what was causing the smell, you had to remove everything in the refrigerator.The same principle applies to your personal life. If you are having emotional problems, it may be because there is something spoiled deep within you. You may have to do some searching, some emptying out, and even some taking apart in order to get to the source of the problem and remove it so that everything can be made fresh and new.
Remember, uprooting can be traumatic and painful. Being replanted, becoming rooted and grounded, is a process that takes time. It is by faith and patience that we inherit God's promises (see Hebrews 6:12), so be patient.
God is the Author and the Finisher (see Hebrews 12:2 kjv). He will finish what He has begun in you: "And I am convincedandsure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work]andperfectingandbringing it to full completion in you" (Philippians 1:6).
Bad Fruit
I had so much bad fruit in my life that I experienced regular bouts of depression, negativism, self-pity, quick temper, and the chip-on-the-shoulder syndrome. I had a controlling, domineering spirit. I was harsh, hard, rigid, legalistic, and judgmental. I held grudges and was fearful-especially of being rejected.
I was one person on the inside and another on the outside.I pretended to be confident, and in some ways I was. Still, I had low self-esteem. My so-called confidence was not really based
30
on who I was in Christ, but on the approval of others, on my appearance and accomplishments, and on other such external factors. Many people think they are confident, but if their superficial exterior is stripped away, they are actually scared stiff! I was confused and full of inner turmoil.I am extremely blessed to be able to say that I never became addicted to drugs or alcohol. I smoked cigarettes, but had no other chemical dependencies. I just plain did not like alcohol. I would take a few drinks, but as soon as I started feeling woozy, I would never drink beyond that point.
I always had a lot of self-control. It was part of my personality not to let anything control me, so I stayed away from drugs. I think the fact that my father had controlled my life so long fostered a determination in me that nothing else would. Although I could not control my inner problems, I seemed to have wisdom about