Awakening Read Online Free PDF

demanded it, but that had been for his pleasure, not her own, and had just been quick little flicks of her clit until he took over.
    When she wanted to come on her own, she performed the same ritual she’d been performing since she’d first discovered orgasm. She lay face down on her bed and reached between her legs, being careful to keep to the outside of her panties. She then located her clit under its hood and simply pressed until she came. She would fantasise in order to speed up the process, but her fantasies were pretty sedate, featuring nothing more than straight-up, doggy style sex where the guy was overwhelmed by his attraction for her and simply had to have her. The only variable in her fantasy was the man. Sometimes it was a security guard, sometimes a cop who pulled her over, sometimes an imaginary step-relative and sometimes an imaginary husband. But only the imaginary face changed; everything else remained the same. She’d been masturbating the exact same way for years.
    After having read that short story, however, she was wondering exactly how much she’d been shorting herself. She’d never really pondered why she didn’t touch herself directly, but now she was. She didn’t enjoy her body very much. She didn’t like the way she looked at all. She might be on the slim side, but she was definitely pear shaped and her breasts were so small she could get by without wearing a bra if she chose. She wore one, just to give herself a bit of shape, and the padding helped balance her out a bit. When she’d had short hair she’d been mistaken for a boy whenever she wore baggy clothes. No, not very flattering at all. As for not going near the coochie unless Charlie directed her to, she didn’t really know the answer to that; she only knew that she didn’t. She never had. It seemed dirty, messy even.
    Her hands clenched along the sides of her tub. She almost vibrated with the need for release. Her nipples were hard where they poked out from the water and, as much as she’d like to claim it was from the evaporation, it was because she was horny. Her intimate muscles were clenched in a never-ending Kegel and the jittery feeling that had started in the bookstore was only growing worse.
    Come on, Claire. You promised no more self-delusion. Do you want to know or don’t you?
    Bottom line … She wanted to know.
    Evan glared at the bottle of whiskey as if it had stolen his wallet and wouldn’t give it back. He was currently sprawled out on his couch with his feet propped up on the vintage footlocker that he used as a coffee table/storage bin. The fifth of Evan Williams, no relation, was next to his foot, a silent sentry in his war to lose himself in liquid oblivion.
    He’d moved into the apartment over the top of Bibliophile after Marianne died. He simply couldn’t stay in their brownstone. Marianne had decorated every inch of their home and it had been like ripping out stitches every time he’d walked through the door. So, as soon as his tenant’s lease was up, he’d moved in. The small, one-bedroom apartment suited his purposes and was enough for him. It had been especially helpful as he’d begun to spend more and more time at the shop. Rather than driving across town, he just went out the back door and up the stairs.
    He hadn’t brought a single piece of furniture with him from the brownstone. He’d sold everything in the house and had gone out and bought himself a sectional in weathered, brown leather and the footlocker for his feet. He’d put a simple birch platform bed, dresser, and nightstand in the bedroom and rounded out his “I don’t give a fuck” decor with a small, wooden dinette that doubled as his desk when he worked on his laptop.
    Evan was an aesthete at heart, though, and over time art had bloomed on the walls when something caught his fancy. A bookcase now adorned the back wall and his favourite books were on display. And, since he was a huge proponent of lounging comfortably while