Assertiveness for Earth Angels: How to Be Loving Instead of Too Nice Read Online Free PDF Page A

an empty feeling that people love you for what you can do for them, instead of for who you are.
If you’re giving in order to keep someone from being angry with you, then you’ll always feel nervous, like you have to walk on eggshells in case that person, despite your efforts, still decides to be upset with you.
If you’re giving because you hope that the person will help you in return, you’ll always feel guilty that your true intentions were impure. You’ll also feel hurt when the other person doesn’t reciprocate.
    Only give because you truly are happy to do so. In that experience, you’ll find your heavenly bliss. In fact, a good rule to live by is:
    Never do anything unless you want to. Either don’t do the action, or go meditate and pray until you can shift your mind-set to one of happiness toward it .

CHAPTER TWO
    HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
    A s a peace-loving, gentle person, you may have learned to avoid conflict at all costs. You just go along with someone’s bad idea rather than stand up to him or her and risk an argument. This style of living gives you a sense of control over your life, because deep down you know you’re not really agreeing with the person. It’s as if you’re leading two lives: one on the surface, with your behavior; and the other beneath, with your true feelings and opinions.
    In some cases, Earth Angels have numbed themselves so much in order to cooperate with others that they’ve completely disconnected from their own opinions. They don’t know how they feel or what they think about anything, because they’re so accustomed to being told what to do, feel, and think. Sometimes, tragically, this is because of an abusive situation where they fear for their physical safety, so they comply with their abusers’ wishes in order to survive.
    Still other Earth Angels are conflict-phobic because they’re shy and don’t want to call attention to themselves. They’d rather remain invisible, so they almost never speak up for themselves. And when they do , people don’t hear or notice them.
    The trouble with these coping styles is that if you don’t let people know how you feel, they’ll incorrectly assume that everything’s okay. People won’t know how you really feel or think unless you tell them .
    In addition, assertiveness means that you’re clear, honest, and direct with others. Hinting at how you feel and hoping the other person gets the hint never works. This is a guarantee that you’ll always feel ignored and misunderstood. Instead of hinting, you have to clearly communicate your feelings.
    You may worry that if you’re truthful, people will leave you. But the truth is that you’ll be the one to leave, if you don’t muster up the courage to be honest. If you don’t tell the other person how you really feel, the relationship will be unbalanced and unhealthy, and you—as a highly sensitive person—won’t want to stay.
    Being conflict-phobic can also block you from fulfilling the very important mission you were born to do! In order to fulfill your lightwork, you need to reawaken and own your power!
    If this sounds frightening or dangerous, please stay with me anyway. The fear is coming from your ego and past experiences. Fortunately, it isn’t based upon reality as it relates to your future or your Divine mission.
    Remember that if the earth were perfect, you and I wouldn’t be needed here in physical form. We could have just stayed in heaven and sent prayers to everyone. But humans rarely hear their angels, or if they do, they wrestle with self-doubts. So we were sent to Earth to speak up and take other actions to enact God’s will of peace. Being passive isn’t in our job description.
    Peace is our mission. And being peaceful is very different from being passive.
    The Superwoman/Superman Syndrome of Earth Angels
    As an Earth Angel, you possess certain