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;) ). They’ll come around to Big Poppa.
    p.s.—I won $25K and a Corvette in a celebrity poker tournament in Reno! Kind of a split decision for the Clintons last night, I guess. . . .
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    The following e-mails were written between January 7 and January 9, 2008, during the New Hampshire primary.
    To: [email protected]
    From: [email protected]
    Re: NEW HAMPSHIRE
    January 7, 2008
    If I lose in NH, I’m done. Everyone thinks BO is going to win. Need something dramatic. Trying to remind everyone that he’s a black guy who loves blow. What else?
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    To: [email protected]
    From: [email protected]
    Re: Re: NEW HAMPSHIRE
    January 7, 2008
    You know that bullshit where I bite my bottom lip and squint my eyes to show I care? Works every time, man. Try it. Don’t slobber all over yourself—people will think you’re a crazy bitch who shouldn’t be anywhere near the red button. Just tear up a little bit. Feel their pain. Trust me.
    Trying to get back to NH for tomorrow. All the flights from Aspen are snowed in. Met some really cool people who are insisting I stay for their key party tomorrow night. Kinda said I would. Will let you know if I can get out of it.
    In the meantime, I’m spreadin’ the word through our back channels that BO is a giant Indonesian cokehead. Moral high ground’s a little tough for me, but doing my best. Off to the slopes! Talk soon.
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    To: [email protected]
    From: [email protected]
    Re: Re: NEW HAMPSHIRE
    January 7, 2008
    Going to a coffee shop in Portsmouth now. Will try the tears there. Have been going with the whole tough woman thing, but at this point, fuck it. I hope this works better than your last idea about bringing up Obama’s “I Want to Become President” kindergarten essay. That sucked balls.
    Oh, and not that you care, but I am NOT cool with you going to a key party in Aspen.
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    To: [email protected]
    From: [email protected]
    Re: Re: NEW HAMPSHIRE
    January 8, 2008
    Jack Nicholson and Woody Harrelson having an NH primary viewing party at Jack’s place. Probably just gonna crash there tonight. Cool? Thanks. You’re the best. Good luck!
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    To: [email protected]
    From: [email protected]
    Re: Re: NEW HAMPSHIRE
    January 9, 2008
    I WON! I got choked up and I won, goddamn it! I’m back, baby! How ya like me now, Obama!! DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!!!!!!
    BTW, where are you? Haven’t heard from you since yesterday. Got a phone message at 3:30 a.m. that I thought was going to be you congratulating me, but was 4 minutes of you and Nicholson talking to some University of Colorado cheerleaders about your administration’s achievements in women’s rights. You “fought to uphold a woman’s right to show her love for another woman in public”? Pathetic. Yeah, I heard that. You must have sat on your BlackBerry and called me. Not good, dude.
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    To: [email protected]
    From: [email protected]
    Re: Re: NEW HAMPSHIRE
    January 9, 2008
    CONGRATS!!! Meant to call you last night, but got caught up talking policy with the gang from the Aspen Institute. Mostly fiscal responsibility, NATO expansion, etc. Boring stuff. That’s who those people on my message were. Totally not Colorado cheerleaders. Just cheerleaders for America’s future! Right?
    OK, I’m gonna try to catch a flight out to meet you. Let’s go win this nomination! BTW, Cheryl Tiegs is a big fan of yours!
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    To: [email protected]
    From: [email protected]
    Re: Re: NEW HAMPSHIRE
    January 9, 2008
    Hey Melissa. I have an entirely new appreciation for cheerleading. WOW!
    So, I’ve gotta go do some BS campaign stuff with Hillary. I know, total bummer. She has literally NO chance of winning, but gotta keep up appearances. Back in town soon. Will call. Go Buffs!
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    To: [email protected]
    From: [email protected]
    Re: Re: NEW