American Freak Show Read Online Free PDF Page B

voting for McCain. He’d have to pick, like, Miss Alaska as his running mate to lose my vote at this point. Ha!
    Now if you’ll excuse us, my 18 million votes and I are going down to the hotel bar for another round of piña coladas and video poker.

Chapter 4
Lindsay Lohan: Twitter from a Santa Monica Jail
    A fter her most recent arrest on charges of DUI and possession of a controlled substance, actress Lindsay Lohan authored a series of Tweets from her temporary holding cell at the jail in Santa Monica, California. In the spirit of a similar manifesto written by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. during his confinement in Birmingham nearly half a century earlier, Lohan’s Tweets serve as a mission statement, a call to action, and a loud cry for justice not just here at home, but around the world.
    lindsaylohan SUX! Just got arrested for Dooey. Why peeps constantly want to tear LL down?! Not cool. Someone bail me out! Usual spot. ONE LUV, y’all . . .
    lindsaylohan Obv. not psyched to be in this cell, but seriously you guyz, policemen are the real heroes. Remember 9/11. Officer here a huge Freaky Friday fan. LOL.
    lindsaylohan BTW, wasn’t kidding about bailing me out. Supposed to be at after-party for Cash Warren’s cologne launch in like 15 mins. Hurry, plz.
    lindsaylohan OMG! Courtney Love is 2 cells down. So love her personal style. We’re communicating by banging our chow pans on the floor. Total Shawshank right now!
    lindsaylohan U can’t even understand unless you’ve been here the racial disparity in our jails. So messed up. ReTweet to everyone you know & let’s change the world.
    lindsaylohan Ewwww! Courtney just tried to sell me to some super-sketchy chick for a pack of cigarettes. Not cool. Such a reminder: be good to each other, guyz . . .
    lindsaylohan Hate myself for saying this, but DYING to give this one guard a LiLo makeover! Can tell she’s HOTTT underneath her off-the-rack police costume . . .
    lindsaylohan I honestly can’t remember why I’m in jail. Kinda f’d up. Does anyone know? Check TMZ. It’s hotter than Criss Angel’s ballz in here! Not that I’d no ;)
    lindsayfan54 @lindsaylohan We LUV U Lindz!!!! Cops say U wr arrested fr driving 120 mph wrng way down PCH. Also bag of coke in ur glove comprtmnt. Stay strng, grl!
    lindsaylohan Thx, LindsayFan54! Celebrity is a dbl-edge sord. Media/cops out to get LL again. Would normal person be in jail for speeding tickt? Think about it, guyz.
    lindsaylohan So much time to reflect in here. Want to live/love better. Plus so much suffering in world. So sad. Also, thinking about going back to brunette? Yay or nay?!
    lindsaylohan Been here 30 mins & starting to feel hopelessness other celebs—Mandela, Gandi, O.J.—must have felt. They take evrything from you (excpt BBerry )
    lindsaylohan Is it possible Im getting more f’d up as i sit here? Took weird green pills right before cops pulled me. So proud of this country for electing black man president.
    lindsaylohan Guyz, it’s up to our generation to stop global warming. Do your part, OK? Had so much fun working on Parent Trap. RIP, Natasha Richardson (aka “MOM”).
    lindsaylohan Seriously, guyz. Anyone coming to get me? TP in here is mad harsh. So much of the 3rd world lives in terrible poverty while we drnk champagne. THINK.
    lindsaylohan My designer friend Joaquin Calebra has sick new line of bags. Check out: http://tinyurl.com/3rsfg. Small % of proceeds to orphanage in N. Korea. Heartbrking.
    lindsaylohan Anyone remember how Tango & Cash escaped from prison? Need 2 get the f out uv here. Hair/makup not allwd in cell. Total deprivation. Cherish what u have, guyz.
    lindsaylohan Check out this TwitPic of me in here. Not prtty, but the wrld has to no what prison does to a person. If my example frees 1 person frm death row its worth it.
    lindsaylohan How 2 keep faith/hope/sanity in here? Closing eyes & remembring St. Barts with Kate Moss on Jerry Bruckheimer’s yacht ovr MLK weekend this yr. Tru