Alyssa's Choice Read Online Free PDF Page B

embarrassment alone might kill her. Alyssa leaned down, putting her face in her hands, and moaned. Yup, it could actually kill her.
    She started repeating an old mantra in her head, one she hadn’t said in years, one she used to say when her mom was degrading her. I’m pretty, I’m smart. I’m pretty, I’m smart. I’m pretty, I’m smart. It’s gonna be okay. Tears burned her eyes, and she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, trying to get her emotions under control. She wasn’t a scared teenager anymore. She didn’t want to run away from her problems. She pulled her compact out of her purse and looked at herself in the mirror, wondering what other people saw.
    Her green eyes sparkled from unshed tears, her complexion clean and clear. She pulled out some lip gloss and applied a generous amount. It was time to walk back into the pub. It was time to face her fear. The compact closed on a soft click, and she stood up and walked back toward the bar. It didn’t take long to reach the door. Grabbing the handle, she pulled it open and stepped inside the dimly lit place. Jessica waved her over, and she smiled. Everything was going to be okay.
     
    * * * *
     
     
    Justin saw Jessica waving and turned his head, Alyssa had come back. He saw so many different emotions flicker over her face. She looked vulnerable and sad, although she masked it with a smile. The smile didn’t reach her expressive eyes, and for the first time he really saw how truly embarrassed she was. It took him back to that night, and he wished things had gone differently. He knew Grant had spanked her. He could hear different sounds coming from the office. Never had he thought to step in. She was so full of energy. He thought she’d be able to understand Grant’s need to dominate.
    She had so much fire. It was awful to see it doused now. She looked lost, and he didn’t like what that meant. He wouldn’t move forward without Grant. They needed each other as much as they needed her. This was their dream, sharing and loving one woman. He brought the drinks to the table, passing out the cold beers. Justin didn’t say anything to her, just nodded and smiled. What could he say? Was there a way to fix it? He didn’t know anymore.
    “All right. We’ve got ribs, salad, and baked potatoes tonight on the menu. I hope everyone is hungry.”
    “That sounds wonderful, Justin. I hope you and Grant didn’t go to too much trouble to make dinner for everyone.” Bella smiled at him as she snuggled closer to Clay, laying her head on his chest. A twinge of jealousy shot through him as he watched his friends with the woman they loved.
    “No trouble at all. Grant and I love to cook. We thought it would be fun to have dinner here and then listen to you sing for us again.” Justin winked at her. “I’m gonna head to the kitchen and help Grant.” He turned on his heel and left the table, never once looking at Alyssa. They would all get over this and move on, no matter how badly it hurt right now. Should he talk to Grant and think of a different plan of action?
    When he walked into the kitchen, Grant was removing the ribs from the oven. “Smells good. Man, I’m hungry,” he said, getting Grant’s attention.
    “Let’s feed the crowd and hope tonight goes smoothly for once.” He sounded a little defeated, and Justin didn’t like where this might be heading. He was always the one that had to soothe the people around him, and Grant was no different. He needed him back, and he definitely needed him to be more invested in Alyssa.
    “Stop. I know what you’re thinking, and you can stop it right there. We start as we plan to finish, together. We don’t quit. We push harder and show how we feel. Now, let’s get out there and have some fun.” Justin grabbed the salad and walked out of the kitchen. The pep talk made him feel a little better as well.
     
    * * * *
     
     
    Alyssa watched Justin leave the table, his strong, long strides eating up the distance