Young Frankenstein Read Online Free PDF Page A

woods. "There wolf," he replied. He pointed in another direction. "There castle," he said.
    "Why are you talking that way?" the doctor demanded.
    "I thought you wanted to. You started it."
    "No, I don't want to," the doctor snapped.
    Igor shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'm easy."
    Again, a flash of lightning . Inga cuddled closer . Dr. Frankenstein felt her big bazooms pressing against his chest. He wondered fleetingly if he could get away with retracting his statement about lightning being an atmospheric discharge and nothing to fear and telling her that it was a suspected cause of cancer and the only way to defend against it was to strip down to the waist. At that moment, unfortunately, Igor spoke again, distracting him.
    "There it is!" Igor said. . The doctor raised his head, wanting to see what "it" was, thinking that he might be about to see his first werewolf . But "it" was a castle. It stood high on a hill, and, in the grainy darkness, looked almost like an extension of that hill, a towering, jagged peak. A bolt of lightning split the sky, and the sudden light glistened on the mist-drenched battlements and illuminated the green-gray moss that was spreading like a pestilence along the cracks in the castle's walls. It reminded him of something he had once read on the first page of a gothic novel.
    "Home," Igor said.
    "Home . . ." Dr. Frankenstein murmured . He sat transfixed, fascinated, immune even to the nearness of big bazooms, as the cart slowly climbed the dark, winding road to the castle. Home? Yes, the castle was home to the Frankensteins. But was it home to a Fronkonsteen? If he discovered that it was, would he have to change his name, legally? He shuddered, thinking of the red tape. Oh, Lord! The forms to fill out. The bureaucrats to interview!
    In time, the cart reached the castle entrance and halted. Dr. Frankenstein stared at the heavy wooden door, with its hand-wrought iron hinges and its gigantic twin knockers. It was flanked by a pair of brightly burning torches, their flames like devil's eyes in the darkness. Then the spell was shattered as Igor jumped down from the cart and moved toward the door.
    Dr. Frankenstein got down, too. He reached his arms up to Inga. From behind him came two loud booms. He looked back just as his laboratory assistant jumped down into his waiting arms. His hands went sliding up her waist and came to rest just below her breasts.
    To cover his embarrassment, he tried to explain to Inga that his attention had been on the booming sounds made when Igor banged at the door. "What knockers!" he said.
    "Why, thank you, Doctor," she replied shyly.
    Igor had now returned to the cart. He got Dr. Frankenstein's attache case from the back and dropped it on the ground, then began to tend to the horses.
    "What about my bag?" the doctor asked.
    Igor glanced at Inga. "What about her?"
    The stillness was disturbed by a creaking . Turning, Dr . Frankenstein, Inga, and Igor saw that the castle door was opening . A face appeared from the murky darkness . Or was it a face? Perhaps it was a Halloween mask. The nose was large and hooked. The eyes were small and set in deep hollows . There was a hairy mole on the chin . The hair was pulled back in a severe bun. Then the rest of the body appeared . It was a woman, old and bent .
    "I am Frau Blucher," she said in her hag's voice .
    Lightning cracked. The horses, terrified, reared, neighing in horror .
    "Steady! Steady!" Igor said to the animals, trying to calm them .
    Coolly, Dr . Frankenstein approached the door. "How do you do," he said to the woman. "I am Dr. Fron-kon-steen." He motioned . "This is my assistant, Inga. Inga, may I present Frau Blucher."
    Lightning crashed. The horses reared, neighing in terror once more.
    "Easy. Easy. Steady now," Igor said to them soothingly.
    "Your rooms are ready, Herr Doktor," Frau Blucher said.
    "Fine." Dr. Frankenstein turned to Igor. "Bring the bags," he commanded . Then, facing his hostess again, he said, "After you,