X-Treme Latin: Lingua Latina Extrema Read Online Free PDF Page B

munusculum minus inscripsissem, sed non est littera Romana quae Ioachimici vicesimam significat
    I’ll be sure to recommend this place to my friends
    Zago, zagas, zagat

Winespeak—
DICTA ARBITRI VINI
    It’s an intense chalky white marked by overtones of turpentine and lead, with a bright, long-lasting finish
    Vinum peralbum cretosum est, resinam terebinthinam et cerussam redolens, nec sine polimine nitido durabili
    It’s a pointless little red wine with a unique balance of ignorance and pretension made by an obnoxious millionaire Napa Valley dilettante for self-important dumb-lucky dickheads just like him
    Vinum irritum pusillum rubrum est, incomparabiliter librans ignorantiam suam cum ostentatione, a quodam Trimalchione Napaensi confectum salaputiis gloriosis immerito fortunatis, persimilibus sui
    It’s a dirt-cheap head-banging screw-top bum wine that I poured into a leftover bottle with a fancy French label while no one was looking
    Vappa vilissima est, quae capitis dolores facit, quamque ex lagona obturamento versatili clausa in lagunculam reliquam, cui pittacium Gallicum speciosum affixum erat, transfudi, dum nemo me spectabat

    * It’s a dirt-cheap head-banging screw-top bum wine that I poured into a leftover bottle with a fancy French label while no one was looking.
    ** My compliments to the chef—the empire lost a truly inspired poisoner when he decided to go to cooking school.

The Bestseller List—
TABULA LIBRORUM VENDIBILISSIMORUM
    Quick and Easy Decorating Secrets That Let You Turn a Rustic Hovel into a Charming Country Home without Busting Your Budget by Vitruvius
    Artis Ornatus Arcana Per Quae Casa Tua Rustica Celeriter Expediteque Converti Potest in Villam Venustam Sine Sumptu Extra Modum Vitruvius Pollio scripsit
    Toujours, Gaul by Julius Caesar
    Semper, Gallia C. Iulius Caesar scripsit
    Eat Right—for that Lean and Hungry Look! by Cassius
    Edi Recte—ut Speciem Macram et Ieiunam Geras auctore C. Cassio Longino
    Great-Tasting Hot Meals Your Slaves Can Whip Up in Two Days or Less by Cato the Elder
    Edulia Calida Sapidissimaque quae Familia Tua Potest Parare Duobus Diebus vel Uno M. Porcius Cato descripsit
    Cleopatra’s Hour-a-Day Bun-Firming Love-Muscle Sexercise Workout by Mark Antony
    De Cleopatrae Callipygiana Exercitatione Aphrodisiaca Per Unam Horam in Singulos Dies Musculorum Venereorum M. Antonius scripsit
    Letters to My Cat by Pliny the Younger
    Epistulae ad Felem Suam quas C. Plinius Caecilius Secundus scripsit
    What Color is Your Catapult? by Frontinus
    Cuius Coloris est Catapulta Tua? Sextus Iulius Frontinus scripsit
    Oracles Say the Darnedest Things by Livy
    Oraculis Inusitatissima Enuntiantur Titus Livius scripsit
    Entrail Reading for Dummies by Cicero
    Haruspicium Stipitibus Explicat M. Tullius Cicero
    Men Are from Troy, Women Are from Greece by Virgil
    E Troia Viri, Ex Graecia Feminae Oriuntur P. Virgilius Maro scripsit
    Now You Can Lose Weight without Vomiting with the Revolutionary Lark’s Tongue Diet by Apicius
    Nunc Adipem Deponere Potes Sine Vomitu per Diaetam Novam atque Inauditam Quae Linguarum Alaudarum Esum Praescribit L. Apicius scripsit

Latin for Trekkies—
SERMO LATINUS SECTATORIBUS PEREGRINATIONIS ASTRALIS
    Our shields are down to 25 percent and those stupid sparks are coming out of all the control panels!
    Scutorum nostrorum potestatis remanet solummodo quarta pars, et istae scintillae ridiculae ex omnibus claviaturis gubernatoriis evolant!
    We’re being controlled by a subordinating conjunction of time implying purpose or intent
    Coercemur coniunctione subiunctiva temporali quae propositum vel intentionem significat
    Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated into the subjunctive.
    Resistere irritum est. Praeparate vos ad translationem in modum subiunctivum.
    It’s our only hope. Activate the transitive verbs and engage the ablative of separation.
    Hoc sola spes nobis est. Verbis transitivis citis, adhibe casum ablativum separationis.
    We’re entering the