Written in the Scars (The Estate Series Book 4) Read Online Free PDF Page A

his.
    Lewis couldn’t speak for a while, but eventually the tightness in his chest began to subside. His eyes flicked upwards towards his mum, recognising the worried look that he had continually seen on Amy’s face for the past two years.
    ‘I just got a bit panicky, that’s all,’ he tried to reassure her. ‘I’m not sure why.’
    ‘Did you have a flashback?’
    Lewis had confided that he’d been suffering from them when he’d moved back in with his mum. It didn’t seem fair not to.
    He nodded. ‘They come when I least expect it.’
    ‘Well, you’re safe here. That’s all that matters.’
    He tried not to snap at her thoughtless remark. How could Laura understand what he was feeling? She’d never wanted him to join the army. Dad had been okay about it – said it was a good career to get under his belt and better than anything he would find if he stayed on the estate. But what had he known? Yes, he’d had twelve good years but look at him now, he was on the scrapheap. Lewis had no job, and although he had some transferable skills, the things he had learnt didn’t suit anything apart from being in the army as a medic, and he had no one to help him get through the mess he was in. His family lived less than a mile away, yet he couldn’t visit for fear of antagonising them. He’d lost the love of his wife and was a stranger to his son.
    Worse, he’d given up years to serve his country and what did he have to show for it? Nothing.
    Lewis stood up. ‘I – I think I’ll go to my room.’
    ‘I’m off to work in half an hour anyway.’ Laura handed him a drink. ‘Take this with you but be sure to bring down the mug afterwards. I remember how you used to hoard everything in your bedroom before you went in—’
    ‘I was a teenager. I’ve done a lot of growing up since then.’
    ‘In some ways more than others.’
    ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
    ‘You don’t have to snap at me all the time. I’m trying my best to understand you but, most of the time, I feel like I can’t do, or say, anything right without you biting back. ‘Laura sighed loudly. ‘I’m on your side, son.’
    ‘I suppose you’re going to say you understand why Amy doesn’t want anything to do with me now.’
    Laura shook her head. ‘I know that Amy misses you, and so does Daniel. He called round this morning.’
    ‘Did he?’
    ‘Yes. When I told him you were out, he stayed for a while. I wasn’t certain if he wanted to be here when you got back or not. Why won’t you go and see him?’
    ‘Because I have to see Amy and I— I don’t want to go to the house that I should be living in.’
    ‘At least he wants to see you,’ noted Laura. ‘Maybe you could meet him somewhere else.’
    ‘Tell him to stop creeping around when I’m not here, and come when I am. Surely that’s simple enough. He only has to send me a text message. Kids his age are always on the phone.’
    ‘But can’t you see? He doesn’t know how you’ll react if he does that.’
    ‘I’m his dad.’
    Laura shook her head. ‘I’m just not getting through to you, am I?’
    Lewis left the room as an awkward silence descended. He took the stairs two at a time. Opening the door to his bedroom, he held back his anger as he flopped onto the bed. He lay on his back, hands behind his head, staring at the blue skies beyond the window. Outside, everyone was enjoying the hot spell but all he wanted to do was close his eyes and forget that life existed beyond these four walls. Sunny days such as this one brought back memories of Helmand Province, when he would have been with his regiment, his buddies. Sweat drenching him as they walked in full protective gear outside the camp, his hand hovering over the trigger, ready to shoot at a moment’s notice. As a medic, he had seen action regularly, most of it following him home. Even now, as he closed his eyes and curled up on his side, Lewis missed the camaraderie, the daily routine, the teamwork. He even missed