Woman Walks into a Bar Read Online Free PDF Page A

name?”
    â€œI don’t know,” I said, smiling. “That’s why it’s called a blind date.”
    â€œMum!” Beth protested. “You can’t just go and meet some bloke you don’t know. Anything could happen!”
    I sighed and tried to sound like I was the adult here.
    â€œI do know that, Beth. Anything could happen with some bloke I meet off your computer, too. You read about it all the time in the paper.”
    Beth screwed her mouth into a knot. I knew she was angry, not because I was risking life and limb by meeting a potential axe murderer for a drink, but because it had not been her idea.
    â€œWell,” she said, “I just hope you’re meeting him in a public place. And you’d better tell at least two people where you’ll be and call me when you get there—”
    â€œI’m meeting him in the White Horse,” I interrupted her, before she could tell me I have to be in by nine. “And Joy and Marie and everyone else from round here will be there too. So I don’t think you have to worry, OK?” I thought about Brendan and felt a little fizz in my belly. “It’ll probably be rubbish anyway,” I said, to calm myself down.
    â€œBound to be if Joy’s picked him,” Beth said. “Her boyfriends are always right jerk-offs.”
    â€œBeth!” I said sharply. “I don’t like you using words like that!”
    â€œIt’s just a word, Mum,” Beth snapped at me. “I don’t even know why you hang out with Joy. She looks a right mess in those clothes that don’t fit her! At your age you should—”
    â€œBeth!” My raised voice stopped her in her tracks. “Don’t you ever speak about Joy or any­one like that again,” I told her. “Joy has been a good friend to me. She has always been there—if it hadn’t been for Joy after your father did . . .”
    â€œDid what? Did what, Mum?” Beth shouted at me, and I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned Adam. “What’s this, what’s anything got to do with him!” She drew in a ragged breath and I knew she was trying not to cry. I know she misses the dad she can hardly remember. She doesn’t say it, but I know she hates him for not being around. And sometimes I think she hates me for keeping him away. But it’s hard to explain to her the reason why I do without making her hate us both even more.
    I sat down on the bed next to her.
    â€œThis is stupid,” I said. “I don’t want to fall out with you. I just wish you wouldn’t be so down on Joy, OK? She’s a good person. The best.”
    We sat in silence for a moment until the tension faded.
    â€œI’m sorry, Mum,” Beth said. She put her arms round my neck and kissed me. She was wearing the perfume my mum had given me at Christmas. I decided not to mention it.
    â€œSo what are you going to wear to this blind date?” she said after a moment, wrinkling her nose. “I tell you what, you’d better have a bath and wash your hair, anyway. You stink of fish.”

Seven
    Beth ran the bath so that the bubbles rose over the rim like mountains of soft white snow.
    â€œWhat do you think of this?” Beth asked me, sitting on the loo and leafing through her joke book as I shaved my legs.
    â€œWho does a monster ask for a date?”
    I waited.
    â€œAny old ghoul he can find!” Beth screwed up her mouth.
    â€œWorst yet,” I told her, groaning.
    â€œTotally!” she agreed with a giggle that reminded me of when she had been very small.
    â€œSo how was school today?” I asked her, my heart in my mouth.
    â€œCool,” Beth said, like she always did.
    â€œCool how?” I pressed her like I always did, watching her carefully for any signs that she might be hiding something.
    â€œWell, my team won at football, I got a B for my history homework, and we had a right laugh